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Body & Soul

smoking

I have met a new man and I like him and he seems to like me too.
It is a fairly new relationship and he is the first person I've met for ages that I really like.
The problem is he smokes and appears to be a seasoned smoker . Also I suffer with astma and bonchitis.
I know smokers get prickly when asked about it so how do I broach the subject?


sogudsam  Tue 02/12/08 21:50
sara3
Tue 02/12/08
22:06
I think you need to start coughing and wheezing when you're with him, if you're not already! surely that's a good excuse to say, "must you?" and if he must.... well, you'll have to make a choice.

I wish you luck :o)


jen78
Tue 02/12/08
22:15
You could go for a compromise in that he doesn't smoke near you ie goes outside.
Jugglering
Tue 02/12/08
22:20
I am a little baffled here... you know he smokes... he smokes... so what is the topic you wish to broach with him ?

Do you want him not to smoke around you ? Easy, just tell him that you have asthma and bronchitis and that these are made worse by being in a smoky atmosphere. Or are you trying to get him to give up ? Now... that is a lot harder !
cherrybea
Tue 02/12/08
22:32
I go with jen, Its gona be hard for both of you. I have'nt smoked for over 3 weeks on Champix and Its the first time after years of trying to get off the cigs that I have'nt had that longing for a smoke. I would recommend Champix to anyone who wants to give up. Maybe your new bloke could use a breath spray after his fag?
ilsonchick
Tue 02/12/08
23:27
dont tell him what to do, if he smokes, he smokes end off. if it is bothering you though, say politely that you wish for him to do it outside because of your health problems. Because this is a new relationship if you start going on about him quitting he might think your a right moaning bag and sack you off. Just gently ask him has he ever thought about quitting and leave it at that. If someone wants to quit smoking they do it when they feel is the right time.
niceboy
Tue 02/12/08
23:45
Tell him that you have bronchitis and asthma and he will dump you for a fit healthy girl.
End of problem!
Ice.Maiden
Wed 03/12/08
00:52
Agree with ilsonchick. Tell the guy how smoke effects you, and just ask him to smoke away from you if he has to. Like any drug, smoking's hard to give up, but if he really wants to stop, you might be the incentive he needs.
no.knowledge
Wed 03/12/08
00:57
or tell him he as dog breath!
goodbyegirl
Wed 03/12/08
00:57
well I am a smoker (not a heavy one ) occassional roll up! but still a smoker nontheless. but when I was with my ex (non smoker) I never smoked.

So can he not smoke when he is with you? It can be done, if you care about the other person enough
Ice.Maiden
Wed 03/12/08
01:01
Lol @ noknow. Yes, but so does someone who's been eating garlic when you haven't. Eurgh.....
ELVIS68
Wed 03/12/08
01:01
Asking him to go outside and smoke is one thing, what about when he comes back in and things get smoochy?

Listerine?
Ice.Maiden
Wed 03/12/08
01:03
Yes - or don't bother!
lil75
Wed 03/12/08
01:03
I smoke and my fella doesnt, so |I dont smoke when he is around me, I can go for hours without one, and then when he is getting ready for bed I have a quick one with windows open downstairs, a quick clean of the teeth and some gum and he doesnt know half the time!
no.knowledge
Wed 03/12/08
01:05
he does know half the time.
Ice.Maiden
Wed 03/12/08
01:07
You're lucky. Neither me nor my husband smoke cigarettes, but sometimes when friends are round, he'll go off and have a cigar. It doesn't matter how much he washes his mouth out, I can still smell and taste it. I think it's revolting, but have a non-smoking friend who likes nothing better than to smell someone who's chuffing on a pipe! I don't know which's worse.
no.knowledge
Wed 03/12/08
01:12
the mother in law smokes and i don't even let her in the garden when she is smoking.
i'm still working on not letting her in the garden full stop
Ice.Maiden
Wed 03/12/08
01:25
Awwww!!!!! She could be useful if you want to light a bonfire.
terambulan
Wed 03/12/08
06:26
I smoke and I send everyone outside when I light up! Oh yeh; and I notice they creep around my log fire (they don't mind that smoke) I chase 'em all out and off - I aint sharing my smoke with no-one!

banged kboard so hard I snapped key . Stop making me mad with ciggy Qs.
Lakitu
Wed 03/12/08
07:33
'Smokers get prickly when asked about it". That's a bit of a generalisation, isn't it?

I'm a smoker and I wouldn't have a problem with someone asking me not to smoke around them. I don't smoke in non smokers home (even if they insist it's OK to do so). Just ask him not to smoke in your home, he's hardly going to dump you for that. If he does, he wasn't as nice as you thought.
sara3
Wed 03/12/08
07:44
I'm a non-smoker and once dated a smoker. when we had a snog I could taste smoke coming up from his lungs. truly gross.

not smoking while together, eating mints and using mouthwash doesn't disguise being up-close with a smoker.

hey, it's still your shout.. it's just not for me.
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