Pregnant at 22

[nat_84]

As some of you now know i found out back in December that i was prergnant.

Done my first pregnancy test and it came back negative, so when i did a second test a week later and it confirmed that i was indeed "up the duff" i was in shock, as was my fella.

Anyway after much deliberation over what to do (terminate or go through with having the baby) i decided i wanted to give this baby a chance.

Me and my boyfriend are both on decent wages for our age and only yesterday i was given a payrise (my boss doesnt know yet!).

Anwyay, thought i'd break the news in the infamous "body and soul" as i'm sure a lot of you dont check the "family" section.

So what are your honest views? 22 too young?

Nat xxx

[nat_84]

I'm pretty sure there are no midwives based at my GP, the lady that i saw was the nurse - which is about as close as it gets i think....

[redcrx]

then you need to find out who will be responsible for your checkups. They are usually once a month and then fortnightly going down to weekly in last month or so of pregnancy. Obviously, if there are any medical concerns then they will see you more often.
You will have your urine checked (always take a sample) and your blood pressure as well as have a chance to discuss any concerns and talk through your birth plan.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, just read a lot of the replies off all the women stating about how good a mother you can be and congratulating you. but in my opinion only, would it make you a good mother after even contimplating whether to destroy your baby? As it also took you a lot of deliberating. It seems you didnt plan it and would your boyfriend have had any say in the outcome?
Sorry to be a downer, but its just how i read it...

[redcrx]

MrBen, youre entitled to your opinion but if you read any previous posts by nat then youd know that her and her boyfriend did discuss the matter.
Also just because she considered a termination does not, in my eyes, make her a bad mum. How many bad mums out there never thought about a termination and just brought kid after kid into the world without a second thought to how they were going to bring it up and feed it? Nat looked at all her options and chose in the end the one that she felt right.

[MrBen5]

hey, i dont know the girl. She may be very nice, but i am just commenting on what i read in her original question...

[nat_84]

I dont think the fact that i thought about a termiantion would make me a bad mother.... i'm sure many women have considered their options before choosing which route to take. Its not an easy decision, although i think its hard for men to understand that.

As for my boyfriend, he said he'd support me in whatever i decided and has done exactly that. He's completely overwhelmed and excited.

(redcrx - my boyfriend called the hospital but had to call back between 2-4.30!)

[Pippa68]

My mother considered giving me up for adoption ~ does that make her a bad mum?

I wouldn't think badly of anyone having a termination, let alone discussing one. nat is no different :o)

[kate1976]

Congrats to you nat, I was 18 when I had my baby, first thing I said to doc was I want an abortion but I was over 7 months gone already so that wasn't an option. Nearly 12 years on and I'm so glad I went through it, don't get me wrong there have been a whole lot of hard times but they are so worth it!

Good luck to you and congratulations once again, you'll be fine, if I can do it then anyone can do it!!

MrBen5 - A lot of women contemplate termination, it doesn't make them bad people. Unplanned pregnancies happen all the time, it's a fact of life!

[JOEYGREEN]

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!

Secondly, no 22 is not too young. I had my son when I was 19 and his dad was 21. I had been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and we both had good jobs too. We had all the negative comments from people saying we were too young etc etc. Five years down the line, we have a lovely little boy who has just started school and doing extremely well. I went back to work part-time and have progressed my career, my partner still has an excellent job and we own a beautiful 3 bed semi in a decent area. We get married in June after nearly 8 years together and our son is going to be our page-boy.

What I am saying is that age has absolutely nothing to do with it. If you are determined to be successful in life and also be great parents then it doesn't matter if you're 19, 22 or 32.

I wish you the best of luck. X

[MrBen5]

Sorry Nat. I dont think 22 is too young, i know loads of girls who had kids a lot younger than you, and they seem to cope ok.
And redcrx , my view is just as valid as anyones on here, if not more so, as mine are always honest. i dont tell people what they want to hear 'just because i know them' or 'incase i hurt their feelings'.
This place needs more of people like me, who give honest answers, and not afraid of speaking the truth. As thats what people who ask for honest answers really want...

[MrBen5]

Hi kate1976, just because so called unplanned pregnancies happen all the time , it doesnt mean its right. And i only agree an unplanned pregnancy can only be used as an excuse if you are under 15, after that age, then it comes into how educated you really are...

[nat_84]

Thanks ladies, and congrats JOEYGREEN on your wedding!!

Its lovely to hear your stories..

MrBen...i appreciate your opinion but i also think it was a completely ludacris statement...not sure if ur trying to play devils advocate or if thats really what u think? If it is your genuine opinion, you seriously have a lot to learn...

I'm not just saying that because u haven't "congratulated" me as such..and i would completely appreciate anyone that said they thought i was too young or thought i was making the wrong decision...

I believe that what the women have said in response to my answer is what they honestly believe, they have commented that its not easy and haven't stated far from a fairytale lifestyle...

[nat_84]

ludacrous*

I find it so hard to believe what ur saying MrBen...i think ur just trying to wind people up...?

[redcrx]

MrBen, i did say you were entitled to your opinion and i certainly didnt say your opinion was not valid. Yes you speak your mind on here as do many of us :)

[MrBen5]

I dont understand what so hard to believe? maybe when you have a few more guy's opinions you will understand what i am trying to say as i am not very good at explaining stuff.
I definately dont think your too young, all i am trying to say is that i think maybe your not ready. It was definately not planned (hence your admission of having to go through much deliberation). And my personal view of abortions is only if the woman is under age or has been raped. i think if you are mature enough to know that having sex can produce a baby, then when you do get pregnant, i think its immoral to suggest a termination. I hope that explains it a bit better. if not i suppose i am on the womans most hated, even above newmantoday :(

[Pippa68]

Crikey, how uneducated I am to have had 3 unplanned pregnancies (one termination) after the age of 26!

I had my termination after I had already had two children as well.

I must be a right cow. An uneducated one, to boot.

[~max~]

MrBen, an unplanned pregnancy can happen anytime. Accidents happen: condoms break or slip, you can throw up your pill if you are sick......No matter how "educated" you are, it happens. I do believe that everyone's posts were genuine, although maybe more enthusiastic than they would have been for another poster, as Nat has been a contributor to this site for some months now. Speaking your mind is not the same as "speaking the truth", MrBen. When opinions are concerned, there is NO truth, and noone can claim to know better.

PS: congratulations Nat!

[ummmm1]

No your not Mr Ben ;-)

[nat_84]

I think it was just the way you phrased it...that i wouldnt be a good mother because i considered a termination.

Yes it did take me much deliberation, because i have had the pressures of my parents, my brother and my work.

i think its unsensible not to consider your options and weigh up pros and cons of both possible routes.