This is probably going to sound harsh, and I apologise if I offend you Beezaneez.
I can only measure you from what you have posted on here but you come across as a self indulgent, self obsessed, shallow and a dreamer.
You frequently ask for advice and I sincerely believe that you should seek some professional advice on how to get you life on track as it seems to be something of a car crash life so far. You are concerned for you child's future, and I believe you have another older daughter, for their sakes get you lifestyle in check and behave like a grown up.
As far as divorcing your wife you are being incredibly selfish to want your wife to initiate the proceedings. Your young daughter will be better off IMHO the earlier the separation occurs, young children find it easy to adapt.
Stop fretting about dirty trainers and curry stains on your new wooly pully and sort your life and that of of your family out!