ChatterBank29 mins ago
Start Your Own Religion?
27 Answers
A thread in R&S has got me thinking. Would you like to start your own religion?
I'll make a start with Overallianity. I don't want any of that grovelling or fawning nonsense with acolytes following me around - you can worship me from afar from the comfort of your own living room (very handy on winter nights).
There are no restrictions on dancing, alcohol or other pleasures although Morris Dancing, listening to country & western music and jazz is strictly forbidden.
Followers will go to hell (namely another chat forum whose name shall not be mentioned) if they EVER discuss ANY reality TV programmes in my presence.
There are NO scams such as direct debits into my bank account. Donations of Marigolds (yellow only), designer shoes/boots with killer heels (size 10) and Sainsburys vouchers will be gratefully received as offerings.
In return you will get a weekly sermon and personal advice as required.
You will not have to spend any time on your knees, unless of course I summons you for a personal audience and the kitchen floor happens to need a scrub at the same time.
Feel free to sign up.
I'll make a start with Overallianity. I don't want any of that grovelling or fawning nonsense with acolytes following me around - you can worship me from afar from the comfort of your own living room (very handy on winter nights).
There are no restrictions on dancing, alcohol or other pleasures although Morris Dancing, listening to country & western music and jazz is strictly forbidden.
Followers will go to hell (namely another chat forum whose name shall not be mentioned) if they EVER discuss ANY reality TV programmes in my presence.
There are NO scams such as direct debits into my bank account. Donations of Marigolds (yellow only), designer shoes/boots with killer heels (size 10) and Sainsburys vouchers will be gratefully received as offerings.
In return you will get a weekly sermon and personal advice as required.
You will not have to spend any time on your knees, unless of course I summons you for a personal audience and the kitchen floor happens to need a scrub at the same time.
Feel free to sign up.
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Plenty people have started stupider religions than this! There's not even any talking snakes, walking on water or reanimation of corpses in caves.
The comment about genuflection reminds me of one of the late Peter Ustinov's anecdotes where he was talking about receiving the official notification of his knighthood. On the accompanying form there was a tick-box with the words "Can kneel?" next to it. He ticked it, but wrote "Not sure if can get back up again" next to it.
The comment about genuflection reminds me of one of the late Peter Ustinov's anecdotes where he was talking about receiving the official notification of his knighthood. On the accompanying form there was a tick-box with the words "Can kneel?" next to it. He ticked it, but wrote "Not sure if can get back up again" next to it.
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