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Gardening

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marval | 17:16 Sun 27th Jan 2013 | Jokes
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I was carefully examining my tomato plants looking for caterpillar tracks.
When I got run over by a tank.


I hate my part time job as a leaf blower, the pay is terrible.
But if I was a gardener, I would be raking it in.


I was gardening when I saw I had left an empty patch.

So I put a rose bush there thinking 'Thistle do'


I used to have a job making furniture out of plants.
I'll tell you, it was no bed of roses.


I’m suffering a mole problem; he gives out confidential information to other
gardeners.


I have planted a Bay tree in my back garden.
I can't wait till it grows it's first window.


As I walked through the garden today I tripped and landed in the herb section. Surprisingly, I broke all of my ribs along with some fingers and both wrists. I guess I must have fallen on hard thymes.


I went to a 'bush n garden' convention the other day,
it was ridiculous I couldn't get a word in hedgeways.


My mate recently had a nasty accident with a lawnmower.
They had to do a com-post mortem.


I was doing the gardening this afternoon when a frog intentionally threw himself under my lawn-mower.
I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide.
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very good marval i wonder where you dug those up from
17:18 Sun 27th Jan 2013
my gratitude to you, marval, for 'planting' my first response into the best answer space

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My friend Bud might not like that.
is that the friend you said had lost the 'plot' ?
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Yes, he lost the plot, it was a proud and posh answer, are you haughtycultured?
well - i try not to beat about the bush
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I have got to go now, I have a bulb blown, speak later.
I loved them all but the Kermit one made me laugh the most.

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