Advice please.
So, I need some advice on how to be happy. I'm so mixed up emotionally that I can't even go a night anymore without crying. Many things have led up to this, but the main one was the breakup of my boyfriend and I, and how we ended. I started liking him around December and he liked me starting January. We became best friends and we knew we liked eachother until March when he finally asked me out. We dated for about half a year from that point (maybe 8 months together now) then things started to change. We drifted apart, by a really big gap. I almost never saw him, and when I did he almost always ignored me. It got ao bad that at one point, I was so upset about it that I cried in front of him and he wouldn't even look at me. And yet, I still loved him.
During this time though, I befriended a boy and he instantly
Became one of my bestfriends. I told him everything about my troubles with Tyler, my boyfriend. He insisted that it would be better if I broke up with him, but I couldn't get myself to do it because I loved him so much. During this point, I knew that I had fallen for Brian, the other boy, and he also did with me. I knew that this was wrong, but I loved Tyler so much I couldn't break up with him and I didn't want to. Then the day came, and Brian(one of tyler's best friends) and I kissed. I was actually happy, and I hadn't been for months during my relationship with Tyler. I knew it was wrong beyond belief, which was why I broke up with him a couple days later, I wanted to be happy with Brian. But Brian didn't bring me happiness. Of course, Tyler found out and he actually didn't hate me. But now, I see him everyday and though he's not made at me, he still can't look at me, and it makes me sad. I understand that he has a right to do that, which I agree compleltey with, but it hurt. After we broke up, we became bestfriends and I still went over to his house. Then, he decided that it broke back too many bad memories so now we don't even talk and it's upsetting. I still love him so much, and even though I know for sure Brian loves me, I can't get myself to feel like how I did with Tyler. Please tell me what I should do. I realise that cheating was the worst thing to do, so I dot want to get called out for being an awful. I just want to be happy..