pussyfoot - you need to go and see your doc. They won't be surprised, far from it - many more people have depression than we can imagine. I know exactly how you feel, so please don 't feel that you're alone in this - it can be overcome, but it needs to happen in very steps. First thing tomorrow, grit your teeth and ring your doctor. Don't feel guilty, that's part of the problem - everybody has worth. Clinical depression is a sneaky thing, it creeps up you and bites you. It can be chased away, but you need clinical help.
We're here for you whenever you need us, but you need to talk to the medics. I've been where you are, I feel with you, and it can be got through. I did - you can - but you need to make that first step. You can't go on like this. ♥