News1 min ago
Stress!
8 Answers
I'm so stressed with work today. The phone has been ringing non stop with people asking for payments and we have wages next week as well as all the subcontractors to pay which will take us well into the overdraft and nobody is paying us on time so I have no idea when I am going to be able to pay anyone and I want to scream! Can someone brighten my day?
Answers
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I'm sorry to hear that milly.
here's a joke to cheer you up -
A farmer decides to get litters mfrom his twelve sows, so he rings the vet for advice.
The vet tells him to articifially inseminate the sows.
"How will I know they are pregnant?" asks the farmer.
"They will roll around in the mud." confirms the vet.
The farmer is too embarassed to admit that he hasn't understood what the vet said, but he knows roughly what 'inseminate' means, so he puts the cows in the back of his truck, drives, them up to the meadow, and sh*gs all twelve.
Knackered, he drives them back, and collapses into bed.
Next morning, he asks his wife if the sows are rolling in the mud.
"No, just mooching about in the yard as usual." she replies.
Deciding the process hasn't worked, the farmer repeats the process, up to the meadow, sh*gs each sow, can barely drive back to the farm, and collapses into bed, waking up at mid-day.
"Any luck with the rolling?" askes the farmer.
"No", says his wife, they are just mooching about looking at each other.
Not one to give up, tjhe farmer drags himself down to the yard, loads up the pigs, drives to the meadow and sh*gs all twelve twice each!
he can barely drag himself back to the farm, where he sleeps for that night, the next day, and the next night.
Waking bright and early, the farmer enquires if the sows are finally rolling in the mud?
"No", says his wife. "But they have all got into the back of the truck except one."
"What's that one doing?" asks the exhausted farmer?
"It's sitting in the cab tooting the horn!" his wife replied.
Hope that makes you smile.
here's a joke to cheer you up -
A farmer decides to get litters mfrom his twelve sows, so he rings the vet for advice.
The vet tells him to articifially inseminate the sows.
"How will I know they are pregnant?" asks the farmer.
"They will roll around in the mud." confirms the vet.
The farmer is too embarassed to admit that he hasn't understood what the vet said, but he knows roughly what 'inseminate' means, so he puts the cows in the back of his truck, drives, them up to the meadow, and sh*gs all twelve.
Knackered, he drives them back, and collapses into bed.
Next morning, he asks his wife if the sows are rolling in the mud.
"No, just mooching about in the yard as usual." she replies.
Deciding the process hasn't worked, the farmer repeats the process, up to the meadow, sh*gs each sow, can barely drive back to the farm, and collapses into bed, waking up at mid-day.
"Any luck with the rolling?" askes the farmer.
"No", says his wife, they are just mooching about looking at each other.
Not one to give up, tjhe farmer drags himself down to the yard, loads up the pigs, drives to the meadow and sh*gs all twelve twice each!
he can barely drag himself back to the farm, where he sleeps for that night, the next day, and the next night.
Waking bright and early, the farmer enquires if the sows are finally rolling in the mud?
"No", says his wife. "But they have all got into the back of the truck except one."
"What's that one doing?" asks the exhausted farmer?
"It's sitting in the cab tooting the horn!" his wife replied.
Hope that makes you smile.
1 to 8 of 8
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