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sengas | 12:06 Thu 19th Aug 2010 | ChatterBank
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hi, l am a 57 year old woman who for the past 17 years has been living with {who she thought to be her soulmate] a guy , 9 months ago we moved to a council one bedroom flat smaller than what we had before but moved in decorated the flat , now it looks lovely, 4 months ago my partner told me he no longer wanted to be with me his reasons being l am negitive always ill and irritate him he also says this flat is to small , l was and still am devastated by this but accept this now the problem is he says he had'nt really thought things out when he told me and when l said he needed to move out his reply was why should he move out who wrote that rule , l told him that as he was the one who was ending things it seems logical that he moves he has already said he does'nt like the flat where yes it may be small but l love it and no way am l moving out everything in the flat is mine which l have bought he has his clothes tools x box play station games a tv thats about it, the council say it will take at least 22 months before they can rehome him and seeing as the tenancy is in both our names he could stay till he finds somewhere else as you can imagine this is an absurbed situation l feel he has the better deal as he does'nt need to do anything we have both worked out our financies and pay for things as you can imagine while he is here l cannot move oncatch 22 or what any idea's would be appreciated thank you
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unfortunately there's not a lot you can do. I would suggest you get a new man (or someone prepared to play the part) to come and sit on the sofa with you every evening, see if that makes him clear off.

or would that make him bring another woman home?
stick it out, he may get fed up and move on?

one of you could move to a private rent flat?
17 years seems a long time to throw away, its a shame x
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thank you to all who answered what l really wanted was is there anyone out there who is in the similar situation ?
I moved out of a shared home 20 years ago, it took me three months to make all the arrangements and clear my stuff - it was horrible. Leaving straight away is much more tidy, but I was lucky, I could go stay with family. I couldn't have afforded to rent and I had to give my notice to work before I could go, so I stayed and he bore with it. I wouldn't want to do it again.
His X Box and Playstation games??

You're 57, how old is he?
Age is no barrier, JL, it's only a number.
I lived in the same house as my ex for about 2 years. it was hell. not because he was badly behaved but I just didn't want him there, plus I had to share a bedroom with my daughter.

eventually I found him somewhere to live which suited his needs, and he went. hurrah!
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thank you to all who took the time out to reply the situation now is trying to be civilised and l do want to be friends so gonna just sit it out he is gonna sell his truck to get a deposit for a flat maybe l am kidding myself and hope he'll change his mind but even l know that is not gonna happen so l would prefer to be able to stay friends , with that in mind has anyone checked out internet sites for dating for the over fifties, l tell you there's a lot of lonely people out there , ending on that note anyone want a crazy old flower child of the sixties / seventies thanks.
Sengas, be cautious of internet dating sites. A friend of mine tried it after she widowed, she met a few nice guys and a few weirdies, one brought his mother along on dates. You can never be quite sure who you're meeting, she was sure a couple had wives and families at home, they were very cagey about where they lived etc. Better to join some clubs (amateur drama, etc) and meet people face to face!

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