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my boyfriend

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dazdave | 21:44 Thu 25th Sep 2008 | Body & Soul
15 Answers
what do i do...

I am 37 gay guy with a 33 boyfriend.. we have been together for nearly 3 yrs. I am so in love with him and he treats me like a princess.. i treat him the same, but i cant help but get angry at him, I do most of the housework and have to tell him to help me out. He is so work obsessed and is always tired, its now makin me smoke more and drink more, we dont have sex that often as he says im angry and uptight..
I get so angry at him because he just lays around on the sofa after a hard days work, i just get on with the housework so it looks good for us, he has started workin from home as he is a sales rep and needs to stuff at home so he gets some space frm work.....

Is he Cheatin on me or is it just me being paranoid..?


so confused..

need some advice..

thankyou
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''Is he Cheatin on me''

Ask him.
That doesnt necessarily mean he is cheating on you. Have you explained to him that you are feeling a bit neglected.? He may not realise just how confused you feel.....
I think you may be being a bit paranoid.

When does he have time to cheat on you, does he go out without you at all?

Maybe he is having a hard time at work, especially as you say that he is working from home as he needs to get some space from work. That can be very stressful.

I know it must be hard but you drinking / smoking more and getting angry with him won't help, he will just see it as nagging and shut off from you even more.

he sounds like he is stressed
It sounds a lot like my partner & I know I get paranoid at times but he doesn't have time to cheat.

He also leaves me to do all the housework and look after our baby as well as work even though I'm pregnant and struggling & on the days off he does very little but lay on the sofa.

Still I love him very much and he has his moments where he shows he still loves me. I think it just sometimes happens when you've been together for a while.
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This is proof dazdave, that not all the posters on here are idiots. It's usually confined to chatterbank, but some of them do wander over into different categories now and then and try to give 'clever' answers.
It's best if you ignore the silly ones, and look for the ones who can give you genuine advice.
You have struck lucky it seems by In A Pickle. He is an old and trusted member on here, and I hope his advice has helped you.
Best of luck btw with your problem.

:-)
I agree with In A Pickle.
You need to take some timeout with your man and tell him your true feelings.

Sometimes, after a long days work, people don't want to carry on at home. I feel like that every now and then....don't we all? We do what we can to make our partners happy and keep them happy.

Sounds to me your boyfriend is very comfortable with you so please talk to him and try to get him to understand how you feel. I'm sure he loves you and will listen

I do hope you'll sort out the problem dazdave.

Lets us know how you get on.

All the best jane x :-)



Indeed Pickle brings a wise head and personal experience to our gay friends who post on here.

I think your partner is stressed, and has got his work / life balance out of kilter.

Why not book a weekend away without the pressure of work, and neutral territory, he won't be stressing about work, and you won;t be looking around at what needs to be done around the home.

On the second day, go for a long walk, and have a good talk, as Pickle suggests. Hopefully with some 'together' time and away from your daily lives, you can talk to each other and arrange strategies so you get more time together, and he does his share around the house.

Work is great, but it's always there, loving partners may not be.

Good luck, hope you sort this out.
Where I live, this sort of relationship is frowned upon. Men can never be happy together. If you had chosen a woman, then the problem with the housework would have been solved.
And the 'Sweeping Statement Of The Day' Award goes to ...
I hope the last post by sk was a joke . people dont need small minded attitudes like that. i hope daz dave and his partner manage to work it out x
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Question Author
A big thankyou to In A Pickle and all others that have given good advice, It just goes to show some people do care...

Thanks guys and gals

Daz xx

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