coming out.

[kyledaines]

im gay but havnt told my parents yet. i am worried that they will disown me. what shall i do?

[jam4u]

I can understand how u feel abt being scared to tell ur parents, but u'll have to do it...they may get upset or angry at first but they'll understand with time, no parent can disown their child. be strong and and just tell them...being gay is not that big a deal now adays. I mean if they love u, and being ur parents im sure they do, they'll want u to be happy. best of luck and be strong.

[Alixw]

I agree with jam4u. In the long run, it's probably best to tell your parents. It'll prob feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders when you do tell them as you won't have to hide it or pretend anymore.

I have a lot of gay friends, and they've all told their parents. Understandably they have been shocked and a little upset at first, but all of them have come round in the end.  And all of my friends are the happier for it. Good luck!!!!

[Scarlett]

You could always drop a few heavy hints if you want to prepare them for it. My friend told his Mother to get a fiver from his wallet to pay for something or other, and there was a picture of Tim Henman in there with his top off!! His Mother still doesn't know officially, but I am positive that if he told her, she would probably say that she has always known. Your parents may be the same. They won't disown you. One person in 10 is gay, and nowadays it is completely accepted and won't stop you from doing normal things like getting married and having kids, if you want them. Bite the bullet, and tell them Good luck.x

[ChocClare]

When my brother came out, he wrote my parents a letter first because it was such an ordeal for him to tell them.  My reaction when he told me was "Well done - it must have taken a lot of courage actually to say that, but we've always known, darling!"  My dad was a bit upset at first - mainly because the family name wouldn't be carried on, but also because it probably is harder for the dad - but, as my mum said, they had both always known he was gay, ever since he was a little boy.  They may have told themselves he was a gentle soul, or not very sporty, or whatever, but at the end of the day, they did know.  It's just the actual telling that is difficult.  Their attitude, once they had got over the initial shock, was that he is still and always will be their son and they will always love him.  They are totally accepting of him now, and treat his partner as another son.

Whether or not you tell your parents is entirely up to you.  Don't be pressurised one way or the other.  You know your parents better than anyone else on this site. I know it's not a big issue for younger people these days, but it can be a shock if your parents are of an older or more conservative generation.   Having said that, my parents are real died-in-the-wool practising Catholics, who you might expect to have been very anti-gay, but, as I say, they have been very supportive and accepting. Have you any brothers or sisters who you could tell first who would support you?

Whatever you decide, the main thing is that you accept yourself.  Be happy and the very best of luck. 

[smadge]

They're your parents, they probably have made a few guesses.

[ICEMANSAV]

You don't have to tell them if you do not want to, if you do tell them then there is a possibilty that they will be upset and hurt for a while. As suggested they probably have a fair idea anyway. But just to be the bearer of bad news there is a possibilty depending on your fathers viewpoints that he will not be able to adapt to your new lifestyle. If you don't parade your sexuality in front of him it would make it easier for him to deal with and come to terms, don't mean to be negative but it can happen so choose your method of news breaking carefully. If my son ( don't have one! ) came to me with this I hope I would be able to deal with it fairly and with understanding but people react differently to shocking or life changing news. Good Luck!

[pixieee]

tell them, they are your parents and love you jsut teh way you are, gay or not. They wont disown you or stop loving you just cos youre gay. they probably have some idea already, and will be glad when youre honest with them. they would just want you to be happy, even if it takes a while for them to get used to it. good luck :)