Kissing!

[Scarlett]

I would really appreciate your views on this!

I am in a band, 3 blokes and me. Everytime we rehearse, two of the men kiss me hello and goodbye. I feel a bit uncomfortable doing this, as I don't know them that well, and I am not particularly tactile. (I think it's a "luvvie" thing!). The 3rd man is a much better friend of mine, (who I secretly fancy, but who is married, and I would never go there!) but he doesn't do the kissing thing.

I feel very awkward kissing the other two, but not him! But if I did kiss him I would probably die because he is so sexy.

Any advice?! It's getting embarassing!!

[fly258]

Try eating a big, fat garlic sandwich just before your next rehersal.

[andy hughes]

You need to make it apparent that you are not comfortable kissing these guys. Avoid eye contact, don't return any hugs, and 'freeze' when they kiss you, they'll soon get the message - then you can be equally professional with all three of them ... can't you!

[Yinzer]

Tell them you have a canker/cold sore and no kissing for atleast a week while it heals. Then hopefully after a week they'll be used to not kissing and it'll be easier to just brush an attempt aside. Or just casually/playfully say you don't want any more cooties. Do you feel okay hugging? Either way...

[natalie_1982]

Um, what kind of kisses?  Are you male or female?

[smudge]

If they go to kiss you on the lips, just point to your cheek, they'll soon get the message! I gather you're a female with a name like Scarlett?

[nicola_red]

I'm not a particularly tactile person either and like my personal space.  A lot of my friends hug often and I don't do it so much.  Is it that you're worried that the guy you fancy will wonder why you kiss the others and avoid him?  Or is it that you don't wanna kiss any of them?  It seems a bit late to say you don't want to kiss them now you've already started doing it.  I suspect they'll see straight through the cold sore approach.  I'd say make the kisses very brief and light and just grin and bear it basically.  I do often hug a friend who I'm very attracted to and you can learn to enjoy that!  Trust me, you won't die!

[Miss Zippy]

(i) Are we talking a peck on the cheek or lips here?  If the latter, then I understand why it would make you feel uncomfortable.  I�m a tactile person but wouldn�t kiss male friends on the lips, even a peck. If that�s the case, then just turn your head when they go to kiss you so they peck your cheek. They�ll soon get the message. If it�s just a peck on the cheek, then I�d say relax and just accept it�s their way of being friendly and making you feel accepted into the group. As for the married guy, he�s clearly either not the tactile type with friends or perhaps he�s picked up on the fact you like him so avoids any kind of physical contact that he thinks could be misinterpreted by you. Either way, you should respect that�s not his way. 

[Scarlett]

Thanks for the good advice everyone! I am female. The other 3 men are all married with young kids. One of them always goes to kiss me on the lips, and I have started to turn my face slightly!! nicola_red, yes, I am worried that the guy I fancy will wonder why I kiss the others and not him. And it really is too late to start doing it now!(Much as I would like to.) Miss Zippy, God, I would actually die if I thought he knew I liked him, and that was the reason he was holding back. I haven't seen him kiss any other people, so I think you're right in saying it's not his way either. I hope...!

[xxlizziexx]

just talk to them about it, say that u dnt like them kissing u. im sure they will understand if they are sensable ey : ). when they go to kiss u pull away and say no in a joking/serious way. hope this helps x