Women and sex drive...

[kryptic]

This question is primarily addressed to women but can equally apply to men.
If you lost your sex drive, how do you deal with it in terms of your relationship? (Obviously, if you are singe then there wont be much of a problem)
Would you simply sweep it under the carpet and pretend that everything is still OK in your relationship or would you seek some sort of medical advice?
If your partner still desired you (sexually) but you were more than happy just to carry on as though everything were ok, would you expect your relationship to survive?
If you lost your sex drive, do you think that your partner would feel rejected and would you really care anyway?...

[sara3]

well if you can't have a reasoned discussion about it, I'll leave you to it.

best of luck to you.

[Purple_Popple]

How are you feeling today Kryptic? You can't keep going like this, something has to give...what will you do ?

[DTCwordfan]

shame but reding the thread and in between she went ott. She does have issues with her hubby and a lot of egotism to deal with as well as a lack of intimacy.

kryptic, as someone who has been hasty, don't rush into leaving if you really cherish your wife as from what I read, you do.

A powerful way of communicating with her may be to go and see a relative friend by yourself for two or three days and leave her a well-written letter clearly outlining your issues and also a fair assessment of both (underline this) of your good points and bad points and that you need to sit down with her (or even better have her join you in a hotel so you are on a neutral site) to discuss the root causes, the ways foward and goals/milestones.

This letter needs a lot of care in writing and should not be rushed as it should reduce the emotion that is no doubt flying around (your want to pack your cases demos this). When it is written leave it for 24 hours or overnight and you may wish to make some corrections that will improve it further - start positive and finish positively too (inc your love for her).........

Hope this helps........

[Purple_Popple]

That is good advice DT....I like your avatar too, but do you have a thing for sheep...BAAAAAAA :) x

[kryptic]

sara, I appreciate your reply but I just dont know the way forward anymore. My kids are the world to me but I resent any implication that I am abandoning them because I am stuck in a loveless relationship. This is part of the problem.
Purple... I just dont know anymore. Stay and be unhappy or go and start again?
Just dont know? Its a fact that I cant do anymore where I am at the moment. OH just doesnt see a problem.
Is it me?

[Purple_Popple]

I am afraid only you can answer that Kryptic, harsh reality now, but when it all boils down to it you love her, but sometimes I know that is not enough....you have needs that is obvious, can you really not just both sit down and talk together about this once and for all ??

[kryptic]

DT, thanks for advice. As far as seeing her relatives go then thats a no no.
She cant do anything wrong in their eyes, its always my fault. Thats another thing as to why I think I might as well just f**k off now.

[DTCwordfan]

thanks purple, the only issue being my spelling but then sheep have problems with typing - it's the hoovesyou know. The sheep thing for my avatar is a private joke actually and refers to my ex who collected them.....always had a soft spot and no, I am not Welsh! I just loved this one with "crazy" written next to it. My youngest has a massive thing for pigs to counter the sheep.

[DTCwordfan]

your relatives - sorry if I implied hers

[kryptic]

I think the time for talkings over purple, when I have to resort to an annonymous
website to ask for advice.

[mrs.chappie]

Kryptic, are you saying she shows you no affection at all? No holding hands, a quick hug, a kiss before you go out of the house....that sort of thing?

[kryptic]

mrs chappie, theres a quick kiss, a hug etc but it feels more like habit than anything genuine anymore. I work my knackers off during the day (apart from helping around the home) and get nothing in return....again, I'm NOT talking about sex but a little bit of appreciation.
Thats why I get annoyed when people start to imply that I might be abandoning my kids if I leave. I love my kids more than anything.

[DTCwordfan]

Go back to my suggestion kryptic, if its not that you have to find a non-emotional way of really letting her know of your major concerns on the direction of your marriage. Is there not a relative on her front or a friend of hers who is close to you and could take her off (without you there) to pass the message of the gravity of your concerns on to her?

[kryptic]

DT, I think that Ive finally come to the realization that my relationship is over.
In her relatives eyes, im always the one thats in the wrong anyway so f*ck the lot of them.
Im p1ssed as a judge now anyway and dont give a flying fook.
I dont drink in the day or in the week but I couldnt give a toss anymore.
thanks for all your support guys and thanks for all your replies. All very much appriceated (including the deleted ones...at least I had a laugh)

[beso]

The fact that your OH doesn't see it a s a problem and makes a joke of it is an unambiguous indication that you are in a severely dysfunctional relationship with a deeply selfish person.

[kryptic]

^^^sounds about right

[feona]

Its always better to discuss about this to your partner without making him feel rejected as the foundation of a good relationship is not based on sex only but there are many factors involved. if your partner loves you dearly and have respect for you, he/she would take this positively ans would help you overcome this kinda situation.