I had to go down to London on a 5-day course through my work with 3 colleagues, all women. Although they worked beside me and knew me well, they clubbed together in the evenings and made it clear I wasn't invited. They went out together but didn't invite me. During the day, on the course, I made it known to everyone (all Londoners except for my colleagues) that I was alone in the evenings and would like to socialise. In Glasgow, blokes would say 'Come out for a drink', but not in London. Even when I asked them outright: 'Fancy going out for a pint tonight?' they made excuses and I was rejected. I had to spend my evenings walking the streets, reading, or having a quiet solitary pint. Why is this? I'm a sociable and interesting guy. What is it about women and Londoners? Why can't people be a bit more friendly?
JockSporran Thurs 28/08/08 06:03
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god - a bit heavy for 6 in the moning, but i also live in the south and find the detachment of others socially etc quite common. i originate from the west country and am used to going out etc., chatting freely with others you meet and not being stared at like your head's dropped off!!! i put this down to things being busier, larger and more impersonal in urban areas giving the plebians less practice at being polite and sociable. living in the sticks, however, is a cosier affair with more face to face contact regularly. also - people are hard work!!!
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stonekicker - Oddly enough I lived in the West Country for a few years and found London much friendlier! I found people in the West Country were more chatty and friendlier on the surface, but actually making friends as a newcomer to the area was really hard. I joined so many things, but no one was really there to make friends. People were more interested in their families or went to events/evening classes with a friend so were not really interested in meeting people. One of my colleagues there had lived in Somerset for 6 years and it had taken her 3 years to actually make a real friend (and she was a very friendly, sociable person)!
Londoners are very rude and cold on the surface, but I found it much easier to make friends. When I joined things I would usually meet at least one person who was open to making friends.
jocksporran - there could be a million reasons why these people didn't invite you out. If they were all from the same company if might just be a company with a clique-y culture. Or maybe the women just wanted a girly night out and didn't feel you would fit in. I admit where I used to work the girls got a bit wary of going out with the blokes 'cause they all drank too much and got loud and aggressive so we would sneak off on a girly night out without telling them! I think women will also often assume that a bloke will be bored by what they want to do.
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Question Author
Thanks Hermia. You're absolutely right about the women. I would have got bored with girly talk and I would have got drunk and loud, being in my early twenties at the time.
As for Londoners, I understand that they take time to get to know people. It's just that I was used to Glasgow society, where everybody is pally and strangers are made welcome.
However, I did go sight-seeing and photo-taking, which I wouldn't have done if I had been sitting in a pub with a crowd of boozers, so maybe some good came out of it. Just felt a bit lonely though.
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