Missing person

[4GS]

Fred was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was REALLY angry. She told him, 'Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!' The next morning Fred got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Fred has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

[maximo]

lol! That's a good one 4GS! :O)

[logic]

Hey that's a good un 4gs
is fred married to funnygirl then?

[logic]

heres one

The Cremated Husband




Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,

"Herman, remember that car you promised me?
Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said,

"Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes,

She said,

"Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?"

"Here it comes."

[funnygirl]

Logic, oops sorry Victor,
You'd better watch out that I don't cremate you!!!!

[logic]

why ? would you give me a B/J, :-) ?

[4GS]

lol @ logic ;-))

[funnygirl]

Red this;

It was Jack's birthday.

Jack went downstairs for breakfast hoping his wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for him.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

Jack thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.

Jack�s kids came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when Jack left for the office, he felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As Jack walked into his office, his secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

Jack worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on the door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

They went to lunch. But they didn't go where they�d normally would go. They dined instead at a little place with a private table. They had two martinis each and enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

Jack responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to Jack and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And Jack just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked

[bigmamma]

What funny jokes you lot :-D xxx

[logic]

That's wasted another 3 minutes of my life,,,
pathetic

[funnygirl]

Yeah, reading your joke Victor!!!

[Munkeeluvva]

Reported - incorrect category.










JOKE btw !!!!!!! :-)