Unable To Drink At Social Occasions

[joko]

I have noticed over the last few weeks - and obviously heard it in the past too, that some people have not turned up for someones important do, and stated that they 'cant drink', as the reason - whether it be due to pregnancy, medication, special diet, have to drive etc.

but how would you feel if your cousin or friend etc, that you really wanted to come, wouldn't come your wedding for this reason?

to me you are going to celebrate a friends special day - not drink - and that shouldn't be the focus of the evening and your reason for going.
i realise you may not have as good a time, but that's not the point.

i have a hen night and wedding coming up and number of people have pulled out, saying this... and i just think i'd be pretty peeved at them

its a terrible 'excuse'.

what do you think?

cheers

[jake-the-peg]

//but if its been a while then surely they can manage to control themselves drink a few soft drinks...? //

Depends I can - but I know someone who can't drink apple juice as it's too close in taste - just trips those associations in the brain.

People are different - I'd have been OK at a social event, but if someone who was a few weeks on the wagon told me he wanted to go to a wedding but couldn't trust himself I wouldn't be at all surprised.

I certainly used to tell people I was on antibiotics if I didn't want to have the conversation that went

"Oh but why? you're not an alcoholic - here look just have a half'

But like I say - you know them and I don't

[carrust]

Due to health reasons (miraines) I've gone on the wagon for 6mths or so. I've found that not drinking in pubs, parties & social occasions really unsettles a lot of people,especially when the only thing I can drink is soda water. My stock answer to people is: you don't need to drink to have a good time...it usually shuts them up!

[2sp_]

I tend to do that too, Jake. Tell people I'm on antibiotics so they don't try to persuade me to drink.

Now I've got the kids it's easier. I say that I'm driving and need to keep a clear head for the girls.

[friedgreentomato]

Perhaps they cannot afford to come and they are using this as an excuse

[cazzz1975]

Glad you mentioned that carrust, I find that people can get quite stroppy with me if I won't have an alcoholic drink, despite not making a fuss or moaning I have been told that I have ruined someone's good mood for not drinking :s

[joko]

its a mix of reasons really, and i'm talking sort of generally as it happens in other occasions.
usual stuff, like i'm in medication, on antibiotics, pregnant or trying, up early in the morning, on a diet, etc.

unless they are actually too ill to go, or just don't have the money - which is somewhat unlikely as they have known the occasion was coming up, though if it was in a far away place so involved hotels etc, so could be expensive, then i think its no excuse

i cannot drink at the hen night because i am on the atkins, but i am still going to go for a bit, just to show my face

i don't agree that someone without alcohol 'unsettles' other people at all - id say that was more likely just in the non-drinkers head - i doubt most people give a toss what others are drinking - i certainly don't.
i also wouldnt care if it bothered others as its up to the individual.

[carrust]

I've even asked the bar staff to put a splash of beer in the soda water to make it look like lager.

[cazzz1975]

It wasn't in my head joko, I was quite surprised by it.

[friedgreentomato]

//or just don't have the money - which is somewhat unlikely as they have known the occasion was coming up, //

Just because they have know the occassion is coming up doesn't magic money up out of nowhere!

[cazzz1975]

Especially if they have to shell out for outfits, a wedding gift and transport costs

[andy-hughes]

carust - trust me, not drinking is far more acceptable now than it was ewhen i was in my teens - late sixties / early seventies.

I was regarded as some sort of freak because not only did i not drink, i didn;t smoke either, and in a room of one hundred people, i would be the only one not doing one or the other or both.

I still maintain that our drinking culture is entirely based around the perception that being drunk - albeit to varying degrees - equates with a 'good time'.

I used to be asked if it was health or religious reasons, and when I advised that i simply don;t like the taste or effect, i would be praised as some sort of saintly pleasure denier being strong in the face of temptation!

Strange - but i grew up with it, so it doesn't bother me at all, and never really did.

[rockyracoon]

I quite admire people that can go out and have a rip roaring time without a drink, I can't, my sober nights would definitely not rate on my best nights out list, unfortunately.

[rockyracoon]

"i would be praised as some sort of saintly pleasure denier being strong in the face of temptation! "

Think I've just reinforced that then, lol ;)

[Traci66]

When my husband was drinking we went to loads of social occasions and I did not drink because I had to drive, it didn't bother me in the least.

[coccinelle]

Weddings do tend to crop up quite regularly especially if you're in your twenties and as some people have mentioned they can be quite expensive. I think the drink excuse is just that, an excuse because they can't afford it. Personally, i don't like this being invited to an evening do and not being invited to the reception, to me it's all or nothing. Arriving to an evening when the couple are married have had a good meal are starting to get tired and where places are scarce due to the family already sitting there leaves me a bit 'pushed to the side' so I too would give some excuse (though I'd find something else rather than a drink excuse!!)

[murraymints]

I'm a soda water person...very very rarely drink anything other...but people pressing you to have a real drink all the time does become very tiresome....then I use the antibiotics thing to shut them up..

[jake-the-peg]

That's because you're not an alcoholic traci

[carrust]

Andy. Try going out with a gang of builders on a friday night & you might change your mind. One of them said "are you a wooftah or summat?"

[andy-hughes]

murraymints - i am not a watcher of QI, but record Suits which follows it, so the last couple of minutes are usually there - and last night, they were confirming that there is no medical reason why you cannot drink alcohol while taking antibiotics - so that excuse is shot at!

[joko]

no it doesn't magic money up of course - but it gives you time to prepare and save ... if its an important friends wedding then most people will make an effort...

if my wedding was just round the corner and someone said they couldn't afford to come, i'd be annoyed. because all they'd need was a few quid for drinks and taxi home, so there's no excuse.
if it was miles away and involved a hotel, long journey etc, then id understand, because even if you physically have the cash in your bank it doesn't mean you can afford to spend it on hotels etc.

cazzz, that surprises me - id be very annoyed with someone if they said that to me - how ridiculous that their night hinges on what you're drinking! its my night out and i'll do it my way. it certainly wouldnt stop me going out
ive never known anyone care much really.

of course you get the odd person saying, 'oh go, go on, go on, don't be boring' etc', but usually that's it and the night continues normally.