What A Load Of Nonsense

[Ken4155]

T'was Christmas day in the workhouse
The snow was raining fast
A bare-footed boy with clogs on
Went slowly, whizzing past
He went round a straight crooked corner
To see a dead donkey die
He pulled out his pen-knife and shot it
And the donkey spat in his eye
Next day he went to the pictures
And bought a front seat at the back
A lady gave him some popcorn
He ate it and gave it her back
He fell from the pit to the gallery
And broke a front bone in his back
The ambulance came up to get him
He died half way there coming back
He was informed of his death by email
And received the news with a sigh
His funeral took place three days earlier
As the rain shone bright in the sky

[bhg481]

An updated version of one I knew as a child - we didn't have email then.

[Canary42]

Like the very old :-

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
One blind man to see fair play
One dumb man to shout hurray......

.... I can't remember if there was any more

[maggiebee]

Part of a nonsense verse I remember. Think there's more but I can't remember.

'Twas a fine September morning
In October last July,
The sun lay thick upon the ground
The snow shone in the sky.
The flowers were sweetly singing,
The birds were in full bloom,
As I went down to the cellar
To wash the upstairs room...

[maggiebee]

Canary, we said

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

[Ken4155]

I found various versions of the rhyme and sort of mixed them together. then i made up the last verse and added it. In one of the versions i found, the pictures was in Norway, i another the popcorn was a cream cake. Here's another nonsense rhyme;

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/841116/two-dead-boys-my-favorite-poem-of-all-time/

[LeonBlank1995]

Ha, ha, ha
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna (ha), I wanna (ha), I wanna (ha), I wanna (ha), I wanna
Really, really, really wanna zigazig-ah

[Ken4155]

Here's a bit of nonsense that isn't a rhyme.

Last night, at about 6 o'clock this morning, an empty house, full of furniture set on fire. A man who wasn't there ran down the stairs wearing his father's clogs, tripped over an empty bucket of cold water and almost scalded himself. A fire-engine, pulled by two dead horses, rushed slowly to the scene, ran over a dead cat and nearly killed it.

I believe there may be a tad more to it but i cannot remember the rest.

[Mamyalynne]

I saw a peacock with a fiery tail,

I saw a blazing comet drop down hail,

I saw a cloud wrapped with ivy round,

I saw an oak creep upon the ground,

I saw a pismire swallow up a whale,

I saw the sea brimful of ale,

I saw a Venice glass full fifteen feet deep,

I saw a well full of men's tears that weep,

I saw red eyes all of a flaming fire,

I saw a house bigger than the moon and higher,

I saw the sun at twelve o'clock at night,

I saw the man that saw this wondrous sight.


* pismire - ant

[Caran]

One street as I was walking down the day
I saw a bark that dogged at me
I picked up a street in the middle of a stone
And nearly necked it's knock out.

[Caran]

YYUR
YYUB
ICUR
YY4ME

[zebo]

That's a blast from the past Caran!

[JimF]

Apparently, it came to John Lennon's attention that his old English teacher was "analysing" Beatles lyrics in English literature class, so he wrote "I Am the Walrus" just to see what nonsense he'd make of it...

[Caran]

Translation
Too wise you are
Too wise you be
I see you are
Too wise for me.

[david small]

I haven’t heard these type of nonsense rhymes for years. Thanks for reminding me.

[Hopkirk]

Have you all gone mad?

[JimF]

It rained all night the day I left
The weather it was dry
The sun so hot I froze to death
Susannah don't you cry

[jackthehat]

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
With....
One blind man to see fair play
One dumb man to shout hurray.
A paralysed donkey passing by
Kicked the blind man in the eye
Knocked him through a rubber wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.