New Jaguar
A lady walks into a Jaguar dealership and browses around.
Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over
to inspect it. As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greets her, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?" Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, "Madam, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just touching it, you're going to positively ***
yourself when you hear the price."