Update On Son

[mallyh]

things are going from bad to worse.i'm getting loads of nasty text because I won't give him money ,I've offered food and to wash his clothes .his sister found him a shelter who said they would give him a bed and feed him but he didn't bother going .he sits in the town everyday on the path outside a shop ,very scanky and unkempt.there is no way we can have him home again .I can't see a good outcome ,we have tried to help him so much and told him if rehab failed it was his last chance with us .even the drug councillors and police said don't give him money as he will just buy drugs with it ,looks like I've lost my lovely son for good as the person he is on drugs is not a nice person .sorry to be so negative but I just need to get this off my chest as it's breaking us .

[murraymints]

oh Mally .. don't beat yourself up..you tried your best..perhaps he has to reach absolute rock bottom before he proactively does something for himself... with any luck..and this is not meant to be nasty..he will find himself detained in Her Majesty's Pleasure.. and something will be done.. thinking of you..you have had more than your fair share of grief in recent times xx

[mallyh]

yes he will most probably end up in prison ,might be the best thing .

[Peter Pedant]

I am very sorry to hear he is going down the tube
and all you can do is watch

[MargoTester]

Oh Mally this is so sad I really feel for you, but you have obviously done all that you can. The only person that can help him now is himself let's hope he finds the will to do so. I'll be thinking about you xx

[ummmm]

You've done all you can.

Good people can make bad decisions x

[mallyh]

thankyou Peter and Margo x

[pixie374]

It sounds like you have done everything you can. It must be heartbreaking though. As minty says, I hope he gets to the point he feels he has to do something himself soon. Very best wishes xxx

[Tilly2]

Mally, there is nothing I can say or do to help. I just want you to know that I am so dreadfully sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

[mallyh]

thankyou I hope he can but I doubt it .he has relied on drugs for so long he can't seem to face life without them .and when he was in rehab he looked so good and was enjoying living ,just don't know what went wrong .

[pixie374]

Are there meetings or support he can get for after rehab?

[murraymints]

I know of cases that have had several "false starts" to recovery Mally.. the commitment to suceed has to come from within... please try not to blame yourself xx

[albaqwerty]

Mally, I'm so sorry to read this xx
((hugs))

You and the family have done everything you can, the rest is up to him.
Addiction is a powerful thing and whatever went wrong was nothing to do with you or other family members.
Stay determined, keep hopeful (almost impossible I would imagine)
Thinking of you xx

[dannyk13]

I feel for you Mally but I agree with alberqwerty, the next move must come from him.

[1ozzy]

Mallyh, I'm gutted to read this.
I've lost friends and relatives due to both addictions and mental health issues.
Quite often the addictions are caused by mental health issues.

Fingers crossed for you and your family xx

[mallyh]

thankyou x he has been to clinics and been put on subutex etc many times but always goes back on heroine .

[Eleena]

Hi Mally,
it's hard to comprehend how addictions come first over loved ones, so sad. He knows this time you're not backing down, it's going to get very hard for you x

[anneasquith]

To the non addicted we see his lifestyle as useless, for whatever reason he chooses addiction, must be horrendous for him and his family, it is our job as parents to protect our children, but there comes a time when that becomes useless, I'm so sorry you he and your family are caught up in what must seem like a nightmare at the moment. So sad .

[mallyh]

thankyou for your kind words ,after trying to help him for 20years it's worn us down ,he is 40 this month and lucky to have made it this far .it's the text he keeps sending me when I won't give him money saying goodbye and that we must be happy he is living rough etc

[anneasquith]

You know his text are to manipulate you to give him cash ? I'm sure you must be finding this whole process heartbreaking . best wishes to you all .

[Mamyalynne]

Mally, a living hell for you all - we may give them life and guidance but when they are grown they choose their path.

Never be afraid to tell him you love him but at the moment you don't like who he has become.

As others have said he may hit a point when he alone decides to turn things around, until then there's little more you can do.


Take care xxx