Kids Paying "keep"

[hammerman]

Daughter is 16. She's a good kid and i'm very proud of her.

She's at college for 2 years studying travel and tourism. She also has several part time jobs including waitressing in he local, working in New Look and some cleaning for a friend. She has no travel expenses as she walks to college.

She does live at home but spends most nights at her boyfriends.

Presently, she doesn't pay us a penny in "keep". But i think she should contribute to the household...and my wife doesn't.

I earnt £40 a week as a 16 year old and paid my folks £10 a week.

My daughter spends her money on clothes, haircuts, new fingernails etc etc...she doesn't save a penny. I cook her dinners and buy all food, toiletries etc, she also has sky multiroom in her room and she does sod all around the house.

My parents spoil her rotten, they're saving up for her driving lessons, first car, insurance etc and have around £5k for that so there's no incentive for her to save.

I think she should be contributing around 15% of her wages per month.

What do you think ?

[Sqad]

BOO.......right.

[B00]

As always sqad, as always ;-)

[hammerman]

She works hard but spends her money on clothes etc. I think she takes home around £300 a month.

Do you think that £50 a month into the household coffers is too much ?

[Retrochic]

Its her home and she should do chores but thats not the original question. She is 'paying her way' while studying by getting jobs to fund her nails and whatever else she wants to spend her wages on. Thats better than sitting on her backside expecting you to fund her education and I think she should be both commended and rewarded by you not expecting her to pay board.

[ummmm]

Do you receive child benefit?

[hammerman]

yeah i think we get around £60 a month

[Retrochic]

Hammerman -if she was working full time she should pay board but she is studying as well. You are being too harsh I think, many kids expect to be 'carried' financially until they go to Uni and some beyond that.

[SheriKeat]

Compromise, charge her something -but put it all in an account for her

[Fusion5]

^^^^ or tax credits, if they still exist^^^^^

[Retrochic]

hammerman you will get £81 per month child benefit if she is the only child you have under 18

[jno]

I didn't even bother asking jno jnr to pay for his keep when he returned from uni. He was desperately saving for his own home (which he now has); if we'd taken some of his wages he'd only have had to stay with us longer. Of course he didn't irritate me by spending money on fingernails.

I'd have thought someone holding down several jobs while also studying has about enough work on her plate. But think about what you want from her, how much you need her contribution and how much it actually matters.

[ubasses]

Perhaps to help her learn to budget a compromise could be reached. Either she agrees to pay x% of her income into a savings account which she does not access unless for a special purchase. If she cannot control her finances enough to do this tell her you will be charging her for her keep. You can then save this on her behalf and return to her when she finally finishes her education or any other significant point in her life.

[losgigs]

Is she having to pay any college fees? If so, who pays them? Don't think that she should be paying for any 'keep', especially if she is hardly at home, but she should definitely be doing basis chores eg cleaning her room, doing own washing & ironing.

[ummmm]

Look at the child benefit as her keep.

My son (18) works full time and we charge him £20 pw

[Mamyalynne]

I don't think HM's ask of appro £45 a month is much really - it will only just cover the toiletries and a couple of meals.

[hammerman]

she pays no college fees or transport costs. Infact, we pick her up from college or work every night so she doesn't have to walk in the dark hen we drop her later on at her boyfriends.

[jno]

hammerman sounds a bit like piggy in the middle here, daughter spending on fripperies, parents lavishing money on her - and he's the one doing all the work.

[rockyracoon]

I wouldn't ask her to pay whilst she is in full time education, my parents never charged me till I left school and got a full time job. Personally I think she she be applauded for having a very decent amount of work ethic.

[ethandron]

No, I wouldn't ask her to pay.
It's different once she starts work properly, then she should definitely contribute an amount which you both agree on.
I agree with Rocky, she's obviously a hard working girl not content to sit on her backside and should be congratulated.

[tamborine]

Text her a shopping list. If she asks for payment, say its her contribution to exes. If she complains, you will know her reaction to paying keep.