teenage lies

[midcomp]

Hi... How can get my 14 yr old to stop telling lies even though she knows we find out

[ChocolatChip]

I just think of all the things one of my friends got up to when she was a teenager, 15 and seeing a 23 year old.
She'd tell her parents she was sleeping over at her friends houses and get dropped off there, then walk to a hotel to spend time with her 'boyfriend'
When teenagers want to do something, they'll do it! And they don't think of the consquences or the dangers. They just think 'they're right' and that's it!

[milly143]

I think some of you are being a bit hard on Midcomp. They've come to ask for advice.

I can't really give any myself as I don't have a 14 yeard old child or one of any age for that matter.

[midcomp]

i dont wanna seem like i am the strictest mum in the world...All her friends get away with the same thing but i put my foot down

[ummmm]

ChocolatChip - I beg to differ. Some teenagers maybe....not all.

[ummmm]

Well you are doing everything you can. Not much more you can do....

[midcomp]

But life is alot more dangerous than when we were younger

[ummmm]

That's a compete myth midcomp...

[ChocolatChip]

I suppose ummmm, I was a relatively good teenager! Although I did get married as a teen!
I know and have seen, what teenagers are like when they maybe feel 'in love' with someone, just worried that they might take it to extremes.

[midcomp]

its not a myth....you couldnt talk to strangers as easy as they can now

[ummmm]

You say she doesn't have internet so how is she talking to strangers?

[midcomp]

I did say she was....and continues doing it every time i unground her

[ChocolatChip]

I have to agree with ummm on that one though! There are good and bad people in this world, just like their was years ago.
The only reason we know more about it now is due to people being prosecuted more often and much more media protrayal.

[brenda]

midcomp-- very hard for me to help , do not have children of that age . But as a parent you have to stick by what you say. Take away the phone and do not return , cut the internet link forever.She will still lie and try to meet these people -- so keep an eye on where she is going -- a disco take her , pick her up and so on.
You do not have to explain why to a 14 year old , just tell her the rules and do it.
She will not like it , but matter not , she will be as safe as you can make her .
She may even thank you in the future when her friends are up the duff so to speak and she isn't.
It is not going to be easy for any of you -- expect tears , tantrums and maybe even running away to a friend-- but you are the adult here what you say goes.
All the very best .Brenda.

[confused]

Midcomp
i can understand your worries but to be honest the more attention you give to it and do all you can to stop her doing it the more she will want to do it!
I did exactly the same thing and i think we have all if we honest done somethng similar!

Just make sure she knows you are there for her and support her allowing her to be open and honest about things and she may just open up to you and stop the lies.

Whatever you do she will find a way to do what she wants to do!Teenages will be teenages.You have to let her live her life and start making her own choices.
I agree she still only young but she is starting to find her feet in life.
Give her your love and respect not disappointment x

Good luck x

[daffy654]

Tell her she can see these men - but only at your house, when they arrive make sure they stay in the lounge and proceed to show the bloke all of her embarrassing baby photos and tell him of all the cute little things she did when she was little.

[muchlovex]

I would find out who this 20 year old man is and give him what for, or perhaps report him to the police. He shouldn't be going out with 14 year old girls.

[boxtops]

These men are much too old for her, do they know she is only 14?