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Mother And Babies Homes
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Whilst reading the paper and noodling on here I've been watching a rerun of George Gently.
The episode features a mother and baby home in the '60's, it is quite a revelation to me how these young women and their babies were treated.
I am quite confident that it is reasonably accurate portrayal as I have a good friend who was institutionalised by her father for getting pregnant in her teens during the sixties.
Can anyone give a different perspective on how it was?
The episode features a mother and baby home in the '60's, it is quite a revelation to me how these young women and their babies were treated.
I am quite confident that it is reasonably accurate portrayal as I have a good friend who was institutionalised by her father for getting pregnant in her teens during the sixties.
Can anyone give a different perspective on how it was?
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it was what you saw - I have a live tape of two old women giving an interview in early 90s saying how horrible it all was. They were crying for their lost ones but one old lady still crying was sitting around a large dining table with her children and one of them was the one she lost - she got him back after 30 years looking for him.
It was particularly bad in the South of Ireland - sure many programmes/movies have been made. Magdalene Laundry amongst many.
All so sad - I never knew of one happy one except that old lady. There were two other ladies on that programme and I never forgot it - I still have the video tape and I still have the video recorder. Too poignant.
It was particularly bad in the South of Ireland - sure many programmes/movies have been made. Magdalene Laundry amongst many.
All so sad - I never knew of one happy one except that old lady. There were two other ladies on that programme and I never forgot it - I still have the video tape and I still have the video recorder. Too poignant.
Yes....I was born out of wedlock (***) in the 1930's and my mother was sent away to have the baby (me). She returned and i was handed over to my grandparents who brought me up as their own (I called them Mum and Dad) and i called my mother my sister.
That was not an uncommon situation at that time, as there was a social stigma (even to the working class) around having a baby before being married.
So, one didn't have intercourse until one was married but found other ways of sexual pleasure......exiting before ejaculation, pre coital ejaculation and for the woman clitoral stimulation leading to orgasm. Foreplay was prolonged, staged, enjoyed and an important feature of sex.
That was then.
You know what is like now.
That was not an uncommon situation at that time, as there was a social stigma (even to the working class) around having a baby before being married.
So, one didn't have intercourse until one was married but found other ways of sexual pleasure......exiting before ejaculation, pre coital ejaculation and for the woman clitoral stimulation leading to orgasm. Foreplay was prolonged, staged, enjoyed and an important feature of sex.
That was then.
You know what is like now.
I remember a few careless friends getting pregnant in the late 60s. Some gave the babies up for adoption as they couldn't afford to keep them on the wage that shopgirls and typists got (though a couple kept in touch with theirs and still are). But several others had the babies and raised them at home, with their parents' support. I never heard of anyone being thrown out by their families, though I suppose it may have happened since there were one or two homes in town specialising in taking them in.
Still, that wasn't in Britain, let alone Ireland. If there were any problems it was to do with money, not morality; state support for single parents was slow and low.
Still, that wasn't in Britain, let alone Ireland. If there were any problems it was to do with money, not morality; state support for single parents was slow and low.
Teenage pregnancies in England and Wales at lowest rate in 46 years
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There were three unplanned pregnancies in my family/family friend circle, in the early 70s and all were dealt with differently.
One had an abortion, which was easily and readily available, at a private clinic.
One kept the baby and he was raised by his mum with the support of her family.
One came to live with us for a while, had the baby which was immediately adopted, and has never tried to contact it's mum.
One had an abortion, which was easily and readily available, at a private clinic.
One kept the baby and he was raised by his mum with the support of her family.
One came to live with us for a while, had the baby which was immediately adopted, and has never tried to contact it's mum.
I was told by my mother that if I ever "brought disgrace to the family" I would be out on my ear. I never doubted it and it really affected my attitude to sex in my teens, but fortunately I went on to have a happy marriage. So many people on Long Lost Family have gone on to a lifetime of regret and sorrow because they were forced to give up their children. Although I think the kids of today are a bit too promiscuous, at least they are allowed to keep their babies.
Watching this programme along with what my friend told me of how her family treated her was quite harrowing.
It wasn't always a rosy future for the adopted children either, it must have been confusing for children raised by grandparents with the natural mother taking the role of sister.
Such different times.
It wasn't always a rosy future for the adopted children either, it must have been confusing for children raised by grandparents with the natural mother taking the role of sister.
Such different times.
\\\\ it must have been confusing for children raised by grandparents with the natural mother taking the role of sister. \\\
For me, not at all, it happened, a bit of a shock, slight readjustment and then get on with life.
I have always found it difficult to understand how events in younger life affected you attitude to society, e.g sexually molested as a child or divorce of parents or your emotional development. I often think blaming your parents or events, is just an excuse, an easy cop out, although there may be such cases, but in the minority.
For me, not at all, it happened, a bit of a shock, slight readjustment and then get on with life.
I have always found it difficult to understand how events in younger life affected you attitude to society, e.g sexually molested as a child or divorce of parents or your emotional development. I often think blaming your parents or events, is just an excuse, an easy cop out, although there may be such cases, but in the minority.
When I was young (early 1960's) an older friend disappeared. When she reappeared her mum, surprisingly, had had a baby. Took me years to cotton on, but that's how it was.
In my family I discovered that my mum had had a child out of wedlock before becoming married and having me. She had just become engaged to my dad, but it wasn't his. She was turfed out by my grandma whilst in late pregnancy (too much shame to bring on the house) but fortunately ended up at a remote cousin's place- she was a midwife in Ayr. Another cousin adopted the boy. I found this out upon my mother's death. I also discovered that my half-brother had been killed in a car-crash in Saudi Arabia on the day I gave birth to my eldest daughter. How my mother coped with all this I don't know, but cope she did and said nothing.
Like sqad, I have had no problems with reassembling my understanding of my life and family. Mum was lucky not to have been sent to a mental home in the 1930's. That happened to a lot of women.
In my family I discovered that my mum had had a child out of wedlock before becoming married and having me. She had just become engaged to my dad, but it wasn't his. She was turfed out by my grandma whilst in late pregnancy (too much shame to bring on the house) but fortunately ended up at a remote cousin's place- she was a midwife in Ayr. Another cousin adopted the boy. I found this out upon my mother's death. I also discovered that my half-brother had been killed in a car-crash in Saudi Arabia on the day I gave birth to my eldest daughter. How my mother coped with all this I don't know, but cope she did and said nothing.
Like sqad, I have had no problems with reassembling my understanding of my life and family. Mum was lucky not to have been sent to a mental home in the 1930's. That happened to a lot of women.
Subject close to my heart this. I was one of those young girls who disgraced the family by getting pregnant age 17. [1956]
Having been told if I ever bought shame on the family I would be out on my ear...the minute my parents discovered I had done just that I was shown the door..back door that is, young man behind me. By the time I got round the house to the front door I was being hurled back in.
Short story..my parents then took over my life like I didn't exist. I was hidden away if anyone called to the house. It was arranged I would be shipped to an Unmarried Mothers Institution at 7 months pregnant. Once the child was born IT was to be taken from me at 6 weeks old having looked after it for those weeks.
Here I along with others were in the care of 2 old lady spinsters who called us inmates and detailed us to work for our keep. I would find myself at 7 am scrubbing the outside steps on my hands and knees first thing in the morning.
I gave birth to my child at 8 months..the story took a different turn when my parents offered to adopt the child and bring it up as their own...or offered a home for us both where I could bring up my baby.
I accepted the latter. I won't go into it all but it grieves me still how girls were so badly treated back then.
This is the UK...thankfully these places are no more.
Having been told if I ever bought shame on the family I would be out on my ear...the minute my parents discovered I had done just that I was shown the door..back door that is, young man behind me. By the time I got round the house to the front door I was being hurled back in.
Short story..my parents then took over my life like I didn't exist. I was hidden away if anyone called to the house. It was arranged I would be shipped to an Unmarried Mothers Institution at 7 months pregnant. Once the child was born IT was to be taken from me at 6 weeks old having looked after it for those weeks.
Here I along with others were in the care of 2 old lady spinsters who called us inmates and detailed us to work for our keep. I would find myself at 7 am scrubbing the outside steps on my hands and knees first thing in the morning.
I gave birth to my child at 8 months..the story took a different turn when my parents offered to adopt the child and bring it up as their own...or offered a home for us both where I could bring up my baby.
I accepted the latter. I won't go into it all but it grieves me still how girls were so badly treated back then.
This is the UK...thankfully these places are no more.
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