Foreign Visitors

[sunny-dave]

My day is being ruined by two interlopers - Ivan Astikov and Ivor Tchestikoff.

Bloody foreigners coming over here and taking jobs from local jokes.

Dxx

[murraymints]

koffit upterkoff !

[scorpiojo]

Will Ivan Angova be joining you later? x

[sunny-dave]

Probably, Scorps - but I fear that Ivana Legova is unlikely to get a visa :(

[scorpiojo]

LOL

[aelmpvw]

i blame that brit ben dover for starting this ...

[Ann]

I'll call Vic to see to your chest!

[ChillDoubt]

They dropped their cousin off at my house last night, calls himself Chestinv Ekshun.

What a tale at the GP's though! Was first in, saw a locum. Nice lady. Apparently my GP did a moonlight flit and phoned in from Australia in August to say he was now working there and would no longer be at the practice!
Anyway, I was the locum's first patient of the day, she'd never been to the practice before. Took 5 minutes to find a specimen bag for my sputum sample.
She then looked for a stethoscope. As she did so, the cupboard door fell off. No problem, receptionist located one for us. In the interim period, she attempted to take my sats with the pulse oxymeter. Not working. Oh well.
Wanted to look at my throat. Had a spatula but no torch.
I offered her my iPhone and activated the light on it for her. She was grateful, as she had no idea how to do it on her own iPhone.
Whilst chatting, it was ascertained that she is Dutch. I mentioned a Dutch colleague in work. Said she didn't know him but knew another Dutch anesthetist where I work. She looked a tad perplexed when I informed her that that one is in fact German, not Dutch.
Left with a diagnosis of chest infection, raised temp, slightly red throat and wheezy chest. Amoxycillin prescribed.

You couldn't make it up!

[janbee]

Sue them Dave..... Dewey , Screwem and Howe, excellent solicitors !

[janbee]

... or another lot are Sue, Grabbit and Runn

[gness]

And you are going to swallow something she prescribed, Chill!!!!

Keep posting so we know you're still with us....☺

[ChillDoubt]

She didn't offer me any Amsterdam 'cakes' gness so hopefully I've had the right stuff and not some halucinogenics or placebo!

[sunny-dave]

Benny Lynne is here now - and working her nuts off.

Mal Twisky is on standby though :)

[gness]

Hmmmm...methinks Mal Twhisky is doing more than standing by....☺

[wolf63]

Could be worse, you could have the dreaded Man Flu. AS and Chilld - drink lots of medicinal beer. Ice cold!

[ChillDoubt]

Couldn't face it wolf. Am taking regular Lemsips with some added lemon juice and a large dollop of honey, as well as the anti-B's.

[wolf63]

AS should have been SD. Predictive text.!!!!

I can empathise guys. I caught a cold weeks ago and my immune system is on strike - I feel ill and dying would be less unpleasant. :-(

[ChillDoubt]

Contrary to popular advice of 'feed a cold, starve a fever' I have just devoured fish(lightly battered), chips and a small carton of mushy peas and definitely feel better for it, in light of the fact that my throat is sorer than yesterday and my right ear completely blocked!

[sunny-dave]

I still feel carp - but not coughing so much.

I may have a meat pie for tea. And some chips. And gravy.

I'm sure gravy is classed as a vegetable here in Scotland.

[gness]

You must be feeling better if you have food on your mind.....but stick to broth and.....toddies.....much better for you....

Does Chill know all my troubles started with a blocked ear?... :-(

[EcclesCake]

Make it onion gravy and it will be two of your five a day :-)