are all teenagers utterlly filthy?!

[Snafu03]

i know teenagers have a habit of lax hygene and tidyness but i find my step-daughters minging behaviour beyond acceptable standards.

like me when i was 15 its messy bedrooms, leaving clothes draped around, leaving cups out etc.

her bedroom is often festooned with various cups displaying levels of bacterial growth etc. but what i witnessed yesterday was period stained pants discarded on the bedroom floor, a couple of pairs. often used tampons will be rolled up in their packaging and left of the toilet cistern. maybe its my fault because i chucked the bin out of the bathroom long ago.

does anyelse witness this level of filthyness? she's in her last year at school, takes no pride in her appearance and has always been lazy/dirty.

[babybop6379]

i have also taken piccys of her bedroom and put them on facebook!!!!! lol she just laughed!!! ive also invited her friends round so they can see its that much of a mess!!!, she has bins everywhere and just doesnt use them!!! I know i got a load more to come as she is only just 12 and its that bad now!!!!

[zzxxee]

i know them well boo i have two daughters aged 19 and 13 !!!!!!!!!!!! lol
and i agree there not mucky bugg ers forever

[ummmm]

I don't understand this nicely nicely approach. You stand in front of them and demand they get in the shower. You take them to their room and demand that they clean it.

I don't go into my sons rooms much. I have a look about once a week (today probably) If it's unacceptably messy they will have to clean it before they get to do anything else. If it's just messy they will be instructed to have it clean before Monday.

[B00]

The really sad thing is zzxxee, ive a 5 year old girl too, and I could cry when i think ahead to the teen years that are coming.

I'm hoping to win the lottery way before then so i can shove her in a boarding school ;-)

[Sqad]

I have to ask the following question:

Have teenagers always been like this? If the answer is yes, then I agree with BOO.

However if the answer is NO, then what has happened to this generation and their parents?

Just a suggestion:
Abolition of corporal punishment.
Discipline has become more sophisticated but less effective.
Child Psychology and Psychiatry is a myth rather than producing results.
Education, education, education....has little to do with the parents.

[Sqad]

ummmm....I am also confused.

[B00]

i think teens have always, well since the 50's, have pretty much always had this rebellious rendancy haven't they sqad?

If it pees you of, they'll do it (or wont, in this case), it's what they do. Stop over analysing it, it'll only mush your head and they don't bloody listen anyway- might as well save your breath.

[zzxxee]

everyone parents their children differently !!!!!!!!!!!!
there is no right or wrong way i dont get into the whole my kids are better than your kids debate or my parenting is a better way than your parenting. It is patroinising
every child is different every parent is unique
and like i said as long as its not a health hazzard live and let live !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sqad]

BOO...maybe...I can´t answer that question..........but you may be right.

Just had boys, no girls and with 4 of them, discipline and regimentation played a lerge part in our lives, as both Mrs sqad and I were working full time.

However I cannot imagine the status quo of our poster being present in the 60´s. but I may well be wrong.

What I do know is that there hasn´t been an improvement in child discipline, despite all new social innovations.

[ummmm]

There is a right and wrong way zzxxee. The ones doing it the 'right' way tend not to have to post on a website to find a solution to a problem.

We're talking a simple problem here. Not an emotional one. Not about a trauma. It's about a teenager being clean.

[Sqad]

zzxxee.......well thought out and sensible answer.

[zzxxee]

thanks sqad but thats like saying everyone who does not live up to your standards is wrong ummm?
We dont know the girl in question so how can you say its not an emotionl problem?
whilst i agree sanitary towels being left in a room is a health risk nobody will die from toxic poisoning because a few clothes are left on the floor

[ummmm]

What standards? We're talking basic hygiene here.

[ummmm]

It's not just the sanitary towel. She's not washing...and she smells.

[zzxxee]

snafu i think what andy said earlier is a good idea some more one to one time to break down the boundries in your relasionship may help
She maybe rebelling because she wants some kind of attention from you maybe is jealous of her younger sibling
teenagers wont say " i need your time" but will look for a reaction even a negative one so maybe there is more to this than meets the eye?
i dont know only you can answer snafu as the rest of us dont know her personally

[zzxxee]

then screaming at them to get in the shower is just not on in my opinion it insults them and belittles them.
I feel that a nice one to one chat about the importants of hygeine will help

[B00]

Maybe its a teen girl thing?

correct me i im wrong, but both ummmm and sqad have sons? rom my experience if talking (and quite often crying!) to other mums of both boys and girls when mine was a teen, girls are wayyyyyy filthier than boys. I'm not saying it's right, but, it's the way they are until they grow out of it, all the nagging in the world won't change them until they want to.

Either that or im more laid back and can't be bothered, wasting that much energy on someone who's inwardly telling you to F off whilst you scream and yell.

[Sqad]

<<<<Either that or im more laid back and can't be bothered, wasting that much energy on someone who's inwardly telling you to F off whilst you scream and yell.<<<

LOL

[ummmm]

Who said anything about screaming at them? You shouldn't have to scream at them. You tell them to get in the shower as I sometimes have to do with my youngest. He'll often ask if he can finish what he's doing first. Of course you can but you need to jump in the shower before dinner.

[B00]

You never had that then sqad?

i still vividly recall the glazed "Oh God, your lips still flapping" look that used to come over her face each time I nagged?