Where you come in the family?

[keyholekatebaron]

Does it make any difference whether you are first born,in the middle or the youngest? I am the youngest of 12(no twins all same parents) I certainly was not spoilt as some people seem to always ask.Any views on this? Kate B.....

[didoatwork]

The first child has no-one to try to keep up with. The 2nd child seems to strive to keep up and surpass his older sibling, or if the older sibling is clever, the 2nd one may give up trying. Doesn't seem to be so much pressure on the younger ones. Just my opinion in our family.

[NOX]

I have two older half sisters am the oldest boy and oldest child of my parents together, and have a younger brother. Not sure what I think about it tbh as I was treated very differently to all of the rest just even now never sure why. I have a large family myself, and think large families are a good thing in terms of equipping kids to deal with the world and found that I doted on my first daughter more than any of the others even though I tried not to:)

[albaqwerty]

I'm the youngest of 3, but the age gap is quite large. My older brother was 16 and other bro was 12 when I was born. When I became interesting(ie walking and talking) they were great brothers to me. Apart from being used as a punch bag:D (great memories, remembered with much fondness)

My OH is the eldest of 4 and he tinks the youngest was spoilt rotten.(The youngest is 10 days older than me)

I think it makes a difference on one's own perceptions and not necessarily the parents outlook

[lcg]

last...as per usual! have to say that things haven't changed much since, either x

[didoatwork]

Do all children think that their siblings were the favourites? I think my older brother was favourite, and some of my friends think their siblings were the favourite. It may just be a perception thing.

[andy-hughes]

It does matter in my view.

With the oldest child, parents are learning how to be parents, so all the right and wrong bits are experienced with the eldest child, who tends to be independent.

The middle child gets less full-on attention than their elder sibling did, because of the division of time involved with bringing up two children. If the elder is close, the middle child can feel protected, and look to the older child as the role model. Parents tend to feel less pressure about getting everything 'right'.

The youngest child can often arrive when the parents are older and more experienced, and therefore more relaxed. there may also be more money in the household, so the youngest may experience a more relaxed regime with more luxuries, sometimes to varying degrees of resentment from the older two.

I am the youngest - i have two older sisters. My wife is the oldest, she has a younger brother and sister, and we have three girls, and my potted examples above are borne out by our mutual experiences.

[ummmm]

My Dad was the youngest of 13 and was very spoilt.

[didoatwork]

I agree with you Andy. Well put.

[netibiza]

I am the 6th natural child out of seven, but between me and my youngest bro are my adored adopted sister and brother. They are all good I was the rebel.

[netibiza]

I was the spoilt one!

[Old_Geezer]

What, views on having 12 kids ?

[lcg]

my brother is certainly the golden boy...he's been married twice, frequently crashes his car, smokes dope like it's going out of fashion and is bone idle. being compared to him drives me nuts! (ok - i was a little sod for a while when i was younger, but have since turned my life around...educated myself, worked like a donkey - 50 hours a week - and hold down a professional job while having mental and physical disabilities). my family only see the person i used to be and blatantly ignore the idiot that my brother has turned out to be. even though i have been married for 19 years (to my baby-daddy - my son is now an adult!) my mother always reminds me i 'put the cart before the horse'. nothing i do seems to matter, so i don't speak to most of my family and try not to listen to the other crap that gets flung my way, but it's hard to get little or no recognition for the graft that i do. hey-ho x

[fairycakes69]

I think it makes a difference. We have 5 kids. The eldest was the one who we didn't really know what we were doing, so we were very strict with her, not allowed out too late etc. She is the most independent and the highest achiver, also the one to look out for others. The next two are twins, we were more laid back but still had some rules, they seem to just get on with life. The next two are also twins, by the time they were teens we'd been there done it all with the others, so they got a very easy life hardly any rules, which turned out to work well for them as they can do nothing to shock us and have never tried to. So they are very happy go lucky.

[karenmac60]

My sister is older than me and actually got a lot more freedom. She left home at 17 to go to uni and I think my mum panicked that she had let her do too much too soon, so she clamped right down on me. She has admitted that since she had no idea what my sister was doing, she decided to make sure she knew exactly what was going on with me and was very strict. Even now my parents are far more involved in my life and far more likely to interfere and assume I don't know what I'm doing. Even though I have a lot more life experience than my sister - they seem to think she knows everything.

[4getmenot]

I'm the nothing child, My older sis is the eldest, my oldest brother the only boy, my youger sister the youngest. I am not even a middle child

[whiskeysheri]

Agree with Andy. :)

[sherrardk]

I was 'one of the twins', people would always say 'which one are you' - pain in the butt, especially as we were non-identical.

[milly143]

I'm the youngest of 7 and I must have been spoilt. Before my first neice was born I remember being told I would hate it because I wouldn't get all the attention any more. Thankfully I quite liked her.

[milly143]

Oh, and I definitely got away with a LOT more than my siblings did. I always joked my parents had given up by the time they got to me.

[Old_Geezer]

"especially as we were non-identical"

Besides your brother didn't have a beard.

;-)