Partners who work away.

[Smowball]

Who has a partner/spouse that works away from home - ie at least mon-thur/fri?
What are the pro's and what are the con's from your point of view and do you like or dislke it?

[stokemaveric]

myself and mrsmaveric are often away from home due to our work/business commitments at different times of course there are pros and cons and we have been doing this for years,there has to be 100% trust in the relationship before any working practice based on this can take place..if there is the slightest doubt in your mind then it will not work..the main advantage is that when she is away then i have the tv remote and she says exactly the same lol..on a serious note it can work...we have been doing it for the past 10 years with no qualms whatsoever she is in fact in manchester until friday she comes back and then im off to guernsey on saturday evening until next tuesday..and then we are together for 2 weeks which will be great our time together is precious and we spend it wisely...so based on our relationship...yes it can work...

[gness]

Hi Smo. I did. Not Mon-Fri though. Weeks at home then days/weeks anywhere in the world. I liked it. Never got fed up with each other. I liked the time on my own and he loved his job. Lots to talk about when he came home and friends all over the world through his work. And then of course,after a week or two away....! ;-)

[gness]

Hmmm. Never thought to put the trust issue in and of course it is the most important thing really.

[Smowball]

Hmmm, Mr Smow has interview for job which will take him away sun-fri, but seeing as how things are at mo am not sure if it will make things better or worse!

[gness]

Ah Smow. I don`t have any advice on that one. I suppose it could go either way but the problems you`ve discussed here are not about trust are they? Time apart can make us more appreciative of time together so that could be a good thing. How will you feel about time to relax on your own and no egg-shell treading?

[Smowball]

From my point of view it won't be a bad thing, and young smow would positively love it lol. Maybe it would help him clear his head.
(and I would get the remote! lol)

As for the trust issue - I believe if somebody is going to play away then they will no matter what you say or do, You can't stop anybody being unfaithful. I just wouldnt forgive it, end of.

[Dee Sa]

at one stage hubby worked in Angola[ because he could speak Portuguese] three months there and one month at home.Apart from the fact I used to cry all the way home from Heathrow after a day or so I got on with things, did the 2pm to 10pm shift at work and answered to no one, I loved it and when he came home for a month we always had a week or so somwhere away and long haul and I really looked forward to him coming home plus he earnt megabucks so if I got fed up during my three months alone I would depart taking my mum for company to shop in New York or similar.
Those were the days, it lasted for about 5 years and it took some getting used to having him back 24/7.Before that we lived in Dubai for 14 years so I was used to a diferent lifestyle.

[gness]

You are right. More opportunity working away but if the desire is there then it will happen wherever.
Make a point of not interfering in a relationship but....could be good for you and you never know..things might get better. I hope so.

[Smowball]

Thanks gness - maybe a good thing.

[EcclesCake]

I can spend anything from a couple of nights to a year on my own.

I don't mind it at all and as it's always been this way and we both travel extensively we just get on with it.

When he's away for 6 months plus it is harder adjusting to having him home but it doesn't take long to slip back into the normal routine.

I absolutely love it when he's away for a week or two, house is immaculate, I can paint my toenails in the living room, watch what ever crap I want and stay up until 03.00 finishing my book.

[Smowball]

For those who's OH's are away for months - what are their jobs??

Just curious thats all.

[gness]

Oil Industry. Days and weeks with oil companies. Longer was to supervise the use of a joint he designed on behalf of the UK company. Quite varied. Lunch with Gov. Ministers one week. Grizzly bears in the wilds of Canada the next. Good preparation for marriage to me.

[EcclesCake]

Mines a Civil Servant.

[albaqwerty]

Mine is a joiner. Worked away Sunday night - Friday for 6 months. Money was good at that time. It did take a bit of getting used to, as I worked 9 - 5 and coming home to make a meal for one was a bit of a chore. The occasional evening could be lonely however I don't have any problem with my own company.

[vodkancoke]

Smow I can only speak as a child of a father who worked away from home. Obviously I'm 35 now so it doesn't affect me, but I remember as a child missing him badly. My Mum always misses him but she is comfortable enough being on her own. He is away Mon-Fridays and he is a director in BT (don't hate me! lol )
I think with the situation you are in (and I can only go by what I have read here) it will probably do you both some good. Maybe he needs to get away from the situation with his daughter and maybe you need time with Smow Jnr on your own?

[tinkerbell23]

My dad did...hgv driver....i was really young and i missed him, mostly because i dont get on with mum. Think itl be a nice break for you mabye? Give him time o think? Mabye you will miss each other and it could be a fresh start xxxx

[Smowball]

Interesting answers : )

Yes think if he gets job it will do us both good - he is like a coiled spring at min!
gness - thats interesting, my FIL also is in same industry and also goes abroad a lot.

Ok, well we shall she what happens at interview!

[EcclesCake]

Both my father and my FIL worked away for extended periods of time, occasionally they were accompanied posts but largely not.

Given our upbringing we see nothing odd in it and don't give it a second thought when we go away away for months at a time.

It does make it very difficult for me to be warm and understanding when I witness a total meltdown from friends who are 'devastated that their Husband is leaving them' ......for a night!

[Smowball]

Lol I can understand that Eccles

[boxtops]

Nibble drives trucks across Europe, he can be away for a fortnight at a time. It's not a problem for either of us - I get on with my life while - if he's home between jobs and I'm out at work, he doesn't mind that either. When I first met him we lived at other ends of the country and only met up once a month - we're used to it.

Smow, in your circumstances it could be make or break - he could well come to appreciate better how nice it is at home, when he comes back each weekend. On the other hand, he could find he likes living on his own and making new mates. As you say, with "how things are", it's a delicate balance. Good luck with whichever way it goes.