Is your partner romantic? Mine isn't

[dollypins]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now. He still lives at home with his parents and I still live at home with mine. We don't get much of a chance to be alone and when we do, we obviously relish any opportunity to have jiggy jiggy.
He has never done anything romantic for me at all though. He never tells me I look nice, he just comments on my boobs or bum really. He doesn't hold my hand very often either. Does romance develop over time? or do you think the fact we can't be alone very often hinders the romance?
I don't want to drop hints because I don't want him to be forced into doing things he doesn't want to.

[jno]

forcing him is pointless; if he then behaves romantically, it'll be under duress, which won't make you feel any better. Your choice: if you want romance and he doesn't want to provide it, you should probably look elsewhere. People can change, but if he hasn't done so by now it's unlikely that he will do so.

Why exactly are you with him? What *does* he offer that you want?

[4getmenot]

have you ever had a night when you are alone when you dont have jiggy jiggy, because it seems this relationship is all about sex

[askyourgran]

Sorry dollypins, it looks like he's either a bit young, and you are his first steady gf or he's just in it for the jiggy. Usually men like to impress and pay compliments or buy them something to get a girl interested, romantic gestures, holding hands etc. is the norm at first it doesn't really develop much more after that, and passing comments on your body isn't very complimentary. Take care and play it cool.

[AlBags]

Gran's just in it for the jiggy, you know.

[4getmenot]

she's a sexy granny!

[pastafreak]

How old ARE you,dolly....because you seem quite young to me.

[Greedyfly]

Nine years with my fella and no romance - but it does not bother me. I know he loves me because of the things he does.

[dollypins]

I'm 17 and this is my 1st boyfriend. I didn't give into him straight away, I made him wait a week.
Even Tina's boyfriend, Graham on Corrie bought her flowers last night.
Perhaps my boyfriend will always be like this but I don't want to leave him because I really, really like him.

[Garmard]

A week! With my wife it was a whole six weeks.
What was i doing wrong?

[ummmm]

We waited 5 months....!

He's pretty romantic...More so than I.

[joggerjayne]

Can you stretch to a hotel ?

You can book it for Friday, and have all of Friday afternoon/evening together ...

... and then go back on Saturday morning, and use the room until 11.00, usually.

You can get really good deals from some hotel chains ... you'd probably pay less than going for a night out together.

And making love in a hotel does feel deliciously naughty.

[Garmard]

On the beach is much better.....When the sun is just going down.

[joeluke]

At such a young age it's hardly surprising he's more interested in the physical stuff than being romantic

As your relationship develops he may become more romantic but some males don't find it easy to be so

My girl leaves love notes for me in odd places (inside my wallet, inside my lunch box (the one with my sarnies in!!), in my underwear drawer etc

Now THAT'S romantic

[merciasounds]

My Hubby is very romantic, he writes me beautiful poetry, buys me little gifts for no special reason other than say, i'm 'running out' of whatever it is, be it perfume or my favourite Jo Malone candles or such like, he buys me flowers regularly, holds my hand when out, sticks by me at parties if i want him to, he tell me he loves me everyday, hugs m, kisses me, opens doors for me, he always tells me honestly how I look, but he's diplomatic, if i put on something he doesn't like, he'll say, Hmm....not fond of that, i love you in that green/black/whatever colour outfit, wear that for me? ater 31 years of marriage I think it's wonderful, and so is he!!

[Garmard]

It's nice to see that in today's society mercia that REAL romance is still around. I have been with my wife 25 years and i always like to buy her those strawberry's dipped in chocolate and flowers......I also write poetry to my wife.

[LoftyLottie]

I haven't got a romantic husband in the accepted sense of the word. But I would never have liked him if he had been. I just don't like romantic men. He has never called me darling, or babe or anything like it, just by a silly nickname which makes me laugh.

I know he cares for me and he shows it in lots of ways, but he just isn't demonstrative and it doesn't worry me a jot.

I have to ask Mr LL if I look OK before we go out. He always says "I would tell you if you didn't.


The thing is Dolly, don't expect him to change. If you are desparate for cuddles, etc. and shows of affection like gifts and teddy bears then you are going to be disappointed and need to think whether he is right for you.

[LoftyLottie]

Mercia, I would feel totally smothered.

Just shows how different people can be ;o)

(We have been married for 38 years!!)

[Old_Geezer]

Avoid even considering dropping hints. A male is unlikely to notice them and a female get all pouty and claim he's deliberately ignored them. (Waits for the explosion :) ) If you have something to say, then say it. Especially when it comes to how your partner can make you feel good. Then at least it can be discussed and a conclusion reached. But do so tactfully.

Some folk are simply not romantic, finds it all embarrassing and unnecessary. We are all different, which makes us who we are. But folk can fake what they don't feel naturally if needed to please someone they care for.

And whilst folk can change over time in subtle ways, don't hold your breath for it. One needs to take another for who they are, warts & all, not who one would like them to be.

[Old_Geezer]

Sorry just read the "made him wait a week" comment. Literally laughed out loud there.
Ummm... 17, 1st boyfriend. Rather eager eh ? Very few stick with the first boy/girl dated. Play it by ear and come to a decision was to whether this is a trial run for the real thing, or whether this unromantic guy really is the right one for you. You may find playing the field and getting an understanding of the range of personalities out there, is no bad thing. But try not to get a reputation for being easy. I may not be of your generation but go on a date one Saturday, have sex the next, is probably a little fast for any ?

[Greedyfly]

We waited until I moved in with him, so I guess that will have been about 2 months. 1 week is not a long time at all. I have had phone calls that long lol