should i be thinking about this anniversary of breaking up?...

[Jenarry]

You may have seen from my previous posts that i went thru a v hard break up last year. things are quite a bit easier for me now . i have a new man in my life who i enjoy spending time with.things are pretty good with the exception of ongoing problems with my little boy's health.
life is pretty busy and i'm feeling better about the break up although sometimes out of the blue i feel the 'whole world turned upside down' feeling again and wonder why it all happened and why my ex went off with someone else.
also this week it will be the anniversary of when he left and i can't stop thinking about it. i feel like once i get this week over i can maybe underline the whole thing .
do you think i should even be giving it any thought(maybe it's part of the healing process) or should i just be getting on with things as they are now?...

[brenda]

Jenary----sorry to read that you feel low at this time.But try if you can to focus on the difficuties you can do something about, i.e. your little boy.
There is little point giving yourself grief , looking for reasons why things turned out as they did. It happened -- it is done with-- look to the future.
Just ask yourself-- if you knew the reason -- what difference would it make now?Absolutely none.
I wish you all the best .Good luck sincerely ,Brenda.

[Bbbananas]

Jen - I broke up for the second and last time with my ex-husband over 4 years ago now. It was a hard break-up and one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I have a new man in my life - for about 3 years now. I still think of my ex - remember the good times, try to put the bad behind me. I still dream of him, a lot.

All these things take time - more than a year. You can't help your feelings or your dreams. I'm glad things are working out for you, but this is still early days. Don't worry about what 'should be' - just enjoy the 'what is'. xx

[andy-hughes]

I think we are progrqammed to recall aniversaries of all sorts.

I remember the day I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital with a complete breakdown - on my way to a three-month stay. It was twenty-one years ago, and i have remembered it every day on the 'aniversary', and probably always will.

I think we assimilate seriously bad times into our psyche, and move on, but the 'remembering' times are an additional part of that dealing process so accept that you will think about him, and you may do next year, and onwards.

Just accept it is part of the experience of the breakup, it is something to be dealt with, and then put away until next time.

Don't let it bring you down - it was of its time, and now is not then.

Hope this helps.

[joeluke]

You are with someone new now, stop pining for your ex, move on otherwise it will affect your new relationship

[4getmenot]

I still have feelings when I see my ex, its usually the feeling of vomit in my throat as he physically makes me sick

[Prudie]

I think I read somewhere that it takes half as much time as the realationship lasted to get over it properly. You are well on the way but your mind is bound to still hold these kind of memories for a while to come, it's quite normal. I had a horrendous break=up about 10 years ago and although I have no desitre to have anything to do with him now I still dream about him at least once a week.

[beryl100able]

If you want healing, dont celebrate when he left, celebrate when you met, celebrate this beautiful chapter in your life as a treasured memory. Then celebrate the potential of every day you're given, because that potential is given to you only, and no one can run off with that. Good wishes to you.

[Woody23]

The first year is the worst. All still so raw: "This time last year, I was/we were ..."

Remember the good times that you had, remember the bad times too. In time you will reach an understanding of it all. For now, enjoy the company of your new fella, enjoy the moment, and enjoy our little boy. x

[Jenarry]

i don't think i'll be celebrating anything about what was our relationship beryl . he spoiled how i think of our whole time together when he cheated. :O( and 4get i feel much the same .i would be much happier not seeing him at all but he have our son so i have no choice.
woody that is exactly how i've been feeling..'this time last year...'thoughts have been coming up a lot but hopefully this will get less now.and i will try to enjoy what i have now. thankyou.
today's the day. one year since our relationship ended and it's not been too bad as it goes thankfully.