me and my girlfriend live apart from each other in different countries.Things have been goin well until she got really busy with studies so she wants us to be just friends as she cares about me and feels guilty leting me down!she sms me daily and tells me she mises me from time to time but she cant have any formal relationship now as she just moved out from a relationship before gettin along wit me.what should i do.i cant think of her as a friend at all.i dont even know how to react when she sms me.shes comin to the summer for training in my country ,so even when i try to forget her i remember that i'll have to see her again in the summer.what should i do..PLEASE advice me
protondonor Mon 01/12/08 01:04
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Where are you from and where is she from?
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i think she realises that having such a long-distance relationship is very difficult, she is busy, she probably doesn't want to continue with it and she is just being nice about it, although she could just be keeping you hanging on.
If you can't see her as just a friend, you are best to sever contact with her to give you a chance to get over her. That way you might feel better about seeing her again in the Summer. If you are still too upset by then, you don't have to see her in the Summer. Sometimes a total break and no contact is the best way to get over someone.
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She doesn't want you anymore, I'm afraid you'll have to face up to it and get on with your life.
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I think this lady is being very mature, she has identified that having come out of one relationship, and given her study needs as well - shes not ready to start another relationship.
She has been very honest and up front and for that reason alone i think you need to respect her wishes.
You can not make her want you and if you try to you will just push her even further away.................. and then you might lose her friendship and if you consider its a possiblity the chance to change her mind when she has finsihed studying and has got over her past relationship.
thats a big risk on your part, to wait to see if you can change her mind and not what i think anyone would recommend, but it is of course entirely up to you !!!
if you dont want to risk it then you have to get your head round walking away, which im sure you cant imagine doing but as per the others, you will have to ......
good luck !!
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Question Author
Thanx for ur advice.the thing is if she doesnt want me anymore and shes in europe and iam in africa.why does she still smsing me telling me wat she does daily and asking me wat iam doing.even when i ignore the sms and dont reply back,she calls me some hours later or the next day asking me why didnt i answer and that shes worried about me.another thing she told me if i wont be in my city in the summer she'll reconsider coming or she'll come to another city.Its so stupid like we're together and not together at the same time!!!!
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Because women and mobile phones are a dangerous combination. Looks like she's keeping you hanging on, women like to play games like that.
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Why do you have two usernames - and posted the same question under both names?
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I noticed that too Andy. A bit odd isn't it... rather like Dr.who and kitesurfer who are both asking about 27 year old girlfriends who have both "suddenly" developed active Hep B.
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