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Relationships & Dating

forgiveness

My fiance and I have been together for over 2 years. We have been in a long distance relationship majority of that time. While state side I am the most loving faithful fiance. While away from him for a 4 month period where I couldn't talk to him and he barely emailed I got very lonely. I cheated on him twice. I know that I was wrong and I have apologized a million times. I have done a million things to try and get him to forgive me. He tells me that I have to ruin my life or the other mans life to truly be sorry. He tells me that I don't care and that I am not sorry because I ran into a little bit of a problem being able to get information about address' and phone number of the other man. He wants to beat him up and wants me to have him beat up or show up and report him. I am very sorry and I will do whatever it takes but I don't know how to get this guys address. I deleted it when I was with my fiance again and apologized like crazy. I want this to work I just feel like I am so stuck and nothing I do is right. I am not a bad person and I would never cheat ever again, I have nothing to gain and everything to lose.


anthonysgirl  Fri 21/11/08 04:28
sara3
Fri 21/11/08
07:43
you sound like a lovely couple. I assume your ages are greater than your IQ.
redcrx
Fri 21/11/08
09:54
you have nothing to lose by the sound of it.

if fact neither of you do.

split up and move on.
Sgt.Rock
Fri 21/11/08
10:52
Not a bad person? You are but you don't realise it.
Shameless pair of nutters, you deserve each other.
Jafi
Fri 21/11/08
11:00
sounds like you both need to walk away from this relationship, before things get out of hand.
snågged
Fri 21/11/08
11:06
'once' can possibly be forgiven by some people... 'twice' takes it beyond a moment of madness imho... he's better off without you...
In A Pickle
Fri 21/11/08
11:36
Your fiance is a dangerous person to be attached to.
As others have said move on and AWAY from him,
So t to prove you "love" him, you have to have the "other" man beaten up,and PROVE IT!?
Your fiance has serious Mental problems,and you have too if you do this.
What kind of crazy relationship are you in,as someone said you deserve each other!
skipy
Fri 21/11/08
12:06
It sounds to me your fiance has an anger management problem i think this is something you Oort to worry about more than loosing him Ive been angry myself in a smiler situation but i have not wonted to beat someone up over it aspeshaly when its not the guys fault you put yourself in his way and this is what has happened. i would walk away and find some one you love with allllllll your heart and believe me you will not want to cheat on them becouse you will not wont to risk loosing something so precious

I know Ive been married to the love of my life for 20 years
Velvetee
Fri 21/11/08
16:20
Are you sure he has always been faithful to you?
cazzz1975
Fri 21/11/08
17:05
ahh I see. I suggest you both part ways, there is nothing healthy about asking someone to ruin their own life to even the score. Im assuming you are both quite young?

the reality is a lot of long distance romances in young people rarely if ever last. put it down to experience (a bad one at that) and move on, find someone who is more able to give you the things that you need.
QueenOfAmber
Fri 21/11/08
19:33
It sounds like you can't handle the long distance. It sounds like you two are (sadly) better off apart. In future, remember: DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER!
Hope this helps. :)
ifonlyu2
Fri 21/11/08
19:45
ok I can see being forgiven for doing it once but twice. No friggin way in my book. I assume from state side comment your in the service. I to was in the service. I have questions for you. This other was he in your unit and was he dating or married. Was there any love involment. Did you tell him you loved him or vice versa. Also your boyfriend want to kick his butt. Ask him why he feel the need to kick his butt or ruin yours and the other guy life. I think there more to the story. Have you ever cheated before him or before you left. I believe he has a right to me mad at you. I to was deployed when my wife cheated on me more then once. I forgave her for it but I also made sure that the other party paid the piper as well. The only advice I can give you is if you love him change your mind set and do what will make him happy. Maybe get together and confront the other party while he watched you tell the other person he ruined your relationship. And on top of that why don't you accept your part by writting him letter tell him what your willing to do for his forgivness. Oh by the way my wife cheated on me again. I divorced her. Once a cheater always a cheater.
QueenOfAmber
Fri 21/11/08
19:46
oooooh!
tough but true...
ifonlyu2
Fri 21/11/08
19:53
oh and one more thing how about you do the right thing and stop talking to others and maybe talk to him. That always works when it comes to relationships. Also if this guy was engaged married or dating someone else does his better half know what you did or did he have a clue you were with someone. If so he deserves to get his butt kicked. Nothing worse then a vile person doing it out of shear joy. He more then likely laughing about it over a few beers with his friend. Trust me I know he is. You were just other tick mark for him. That's all I got to say about that.
anthonysgirl
Fri 21/11/08
21:02

Question Author

this is the first time that I have really talked to anyone about this and no one here knows either of us so that is why I did because I wanted non-biased opinions. I talk to him everyday about this and he knows that I wrote this and I read him the answers and we discuss them.
sara3
Fri 21/11/08
21:03
how romantic
weeal
Fri 21/11/08
21:06
pmsl
Tups
Fri 21/11/08
22:36
This is all unbelievably ridiculous! So much so, it's hard to believe it's real and I don't know why I am even bothering to write this! If this is all true, YOU ARE BAD NEWS FOR EACH OTHER! Nothing more to say.
ifonlyu2
Sat 22/11/08
03:13
if you wanted an opinion then that is what you got. You cheated on him period. What kills me is why he would even listen to your pack of lies. Cheaters lie to benifit there over all happiness. See your a typical cheater and don't deserve his love. I will bet you money after you told him or he found out through your web of lies. You begged for his forgivness. See it usally works like this. Love is an one way street until you find true romance. If you loved him then you wouldn't of did it. Just because you where not talking doesn't give you the right to pull out his heart. I bet you anything that he is still with you because he thinks you'll change but you won't. Tell him I said to dump your cheating butt and get someone that will really love him. Either that or you do something to return what you took from him. His heart and trust. After all this is your fault not his he shouldn't have to forgive you. Your a vile person just as the other person is in your cheating affair. If I was you I would do more then telling him about your post. Maybe show him some respect. May be the one to own up and stop being pretending to be the victim and understand his pain instead of being so selfish. Why do you take action and put him first. Once again once a cheater always a cheater. LOL your now a punch line in some guys story. I feel sorry for him. Tell him I am sorry because I understand your type.
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