son

[tradey]

please i need some advice,when i was 15 i fell pregnant had my son at the age of 16,i was with my sons father just before my son turned 2,i meet this great lad who im still with now after 21yrs,the thing is ive never told my son this isnt his biological dad,hes going out with a girl whos in her last year at school someone has come up to her today and said that hes my sons brother,my son has been on the phone to me asking questions as his girlfriend has told him what this boys said,please i need help what do i do,i could cry my hubbys away working,do i carry on telling my son its all a lie ignor whats being said,god i really really need advice,my son has also said this lads dads got my sons birth cirtificut,ive got it its got my madan name on it and no fathers name help me please

[ummmm2]

God.....tradey...

Have you told your partner?

Maybe you should tell him the truth. It won't disappear and even if he doesn't mention it to you it will always be in the back of his mind.

I really feel for you xxx

[yolande]

I think it might be time to tell him the truth as he is obviously finding out about it anyway. Ask him round and sit him down. He will probably be angry at the start. You also need urgently to discuss this with your partner, and if possible to sit your son down together. Good luck, x

[Goodsoulette]

I think you need your husband there to do this with you, he needs to reassure your son you love him etc etc In the meantime, try and hold off. I dont understand why his natural fathers name isnt on the certificate. Stop lying though, hes going to find out, all he has to dfo it is pay 6 quid and thwe information is his.

[Goodsoulette]

I know he is away working but surely this is important enough to come home for.

[cyanide]

Why don`t you just tell the truth.

[redcrx]

Can you call your husband ask ask him to come home. I think you need to sit down as a family and try and talk about this. You cant lie to your son now that hes asking questions, that would just make it worse in the long run. If his brother is trying to get hold of him he certainly wont stop just like that.

[tradey]

his biological fathers name isnt on the birth certificate just says my name.im trying to get hold of my hubby thankyou

[B00]

Blimey tradey, what a mess! I certainly dont envy you here.

Got to agree with everyone else, you have to tell your son the truth. If nothing else he surely deserves to know who is biological father is?

Is there any reason why you haven't told him so far?

Good luck
xxxxx

[tradey]

i never told him coz when he was born and up till he was nearly 2 he never did anything for him, bought him anything,he just wasnt bothered about him or me,i dont want my son to have anything to do with him and his family there not worth it at all,what do you mean pay �6 for what ive got the birth thing hasnt got the dads name on it.

[B00]

I understand your sentiments tradey- by the sounds of it your partner is your sons dad, I'm just saying that maybe your son has a right to know who his bio father is.

Think you've got to face it that your son isn't going to be fobbed off with anything other than the truth now.

[mycats]

Oh dear, you have to stop lying to your son! Tell him the truth, explain that you lied before because you were scared of him getting hurt, the man who raised him loves him and feels like his dad. Good luck

[mycats]

Hang on, your son is 23? How the hell did you get away with it for so long?? especially if his schoolgirl girlfriend knows the truth

[tradey]

he is his dad hes the one whos been there for him when he was run down and broke his leg,bought him everything he wanted loved him from the first day he met him.im so scarred this will split us all up and my son wont want to know us ever again thats the reason ive never told him as well

[naz_nomad]

so is your son 23, or 21?

[B00]

He's 23 nazzy, she met her partner when the lad was 2, now 21 years later he's found out he's not his father.

[naz_nomad]

you sure?

[redcrx]

wont he question why the man he calls and knows as dad hasnt got his name on the certificate though? It doesnt matter if the biological fathers name is there, he will querie the blank wont he?

[redcrx]

and surely his birth certificate will have a different surname or has he got yours still?