hes ignoring me

[Officialusername]

My OH and I have been having issues lately, and each time we fall out, he ignores me and I go crawling back. Sometimes, during silent treatment, I've waited out for his to get in touch with me, but he never does. He can go weeks without messaging me. We had a bad patch recently, but sorted it out. Last night he told me he was in some girls room in the hotel he was staying at because there was a hen night going on. I always stay in and never go out, I assumed since he told me, everything was fine, but no longer wished to sit in and mope around; so I went out and got drunk. I had a brilliant night, but now, after two texts? he is not talking to me. The last text was at 12 this afternoon and he is a BIG texter; usually texts back straight away. I thought perhaps his phone was dead or something, but he's updated social network sites via his phone. I am being ignored. Please someone help, I am going out of my mind. I am so upset.

[elliemay1]

As I asked before, how long have you been with him and what have you in common?

[boxtops]

If you don't get in touch, he probably WILL contact you because he'll wonder why you're not crawling around after him (and sorry to say it, you have been) - and it'll hurt his pride. Be strong if he does - tell him he's a waster.

[DaisyNonna]

If he loves you he would not treat you like this. Forget him. Stop pandering to his controlling ego. Or prepare to be a door-mat for the rest of your life.

[Jeza]

I'm with craft. The owls are hooting.

[Officialusername]

jeza, I don't know what that means?
We have dated a year.

[craft1948]

And they've got scarey eyes Jeza...............

[ummmm]

Well you should still be in the honeymoon phase...

[Officialusername]

In our honeymoon phase he was caught out for texting and meeting other girls, he said I needed to learn to trust him, which I possibly did. So I learned to let go. Since then its been a downward spiral of him chatting up girls, me finding out and confronting him, him saying I don't trust and then he ignores me til I come back.

[boxtops]

Don't bother then - there's a difference between trusting, and being taken for a ride.

[ummmm]

Dump him then.

[Officialusername]

:( I know, but It's really hard. I love him. Still no word from him either.

[Jeza]

You clearly like to be walked upon. Move on from him and LEARN.

[beso]

You don't really know what love is either because you have not experienced it. You are emotionally dependent on him. Break that dependence and you are free of this idiot.

[Smowball]

I would totally ignore him, he sounds a total idiot

[Baldric]

TooWET Towoo!!!

[pusskin]

Silent treatment will work for you too while you go out and have some cracking nights out with your mates. Enjoy yourself, dont even think of him.

[puddle-duck]

It does sound as if he is controlling. He got angry at you for deciding to go out after he let you know he was with some girl in her hotel room. So it's ok for him to do what he wants, but you have to toe the line.

That kind of behaviour isn't healthy in a relationship, if it's good for one it should be good for the other.

Seriously I would let him get on with it, don't give in & contact him, every time you give in & go running back you are telling him in an indirect way that you agree with his terms.

He doesn't have to treat you right, because you are allowing him to treat you wrong, does that make sense?

I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you love, but a healthy relationship is based on 2 people working together, with compromise, understanding & respect. When one part of that relationship just wants to do what they want, with no thought to the other, then it's doomed, because you then become an option rather that a priority & that leaves you having to accept the terms set out, which leads to resentment & eventually seperation.

It's hard at the start but time will get you through it. Good luck & stay strong xx