my heartbroken 4 year old

[shade s]

I have 2 girls, 8, 4. my little one is so sensetive and emotianal toward her friend at pre school, at the school, if her friends ignore her and not play with her , she continously cry's and her comments, "no body likes me, no body want to be my friend". Please let me know what my response should be?

[RevShirls]

Shade, how awful for you. It must be heartbreaking for you too to see your wee one so upset. Have you spoken to the leaders at her pre school. They should endeavour to make sure she doesn't feel like this.

[Toffee]

Shade, I feel for you. My children are now in their twenties, but we've been through a lot of this sort of thing -- in fact it's still happening. Just think it through, do what you feel best, and you'll all get through it. I have found that such experiences harden the child and with your support she'll be OK, but then I'm just an experienced parent, not a child psychologist.

[nrmatth]

have you tried having your girlfriend's children come to play a lot? so she can have other children outside of school who don't feel the same. Or try enjoying things with her that she's really good at to help boost her self-esteem. when she has these outlets and a support system outside of the negativity of her "friend" she will learn that when she feels good about herself these things still hurt but she will understand it as not her fault over time. Let her know that your proud of her for all her accomplishments and the reason it hurts so much might have something to do with the fact that you raise her to be a sensitive caring person. her schoolmates may not have the same nature as her but eventually she will find someone who does. And remember all her life she will deal with these things. Hopefully she'll be the kid at school who consoles the underdog and gets along with everyone. friends change and grow apart but that gap is always filled by another.

[andy hughes]

Hi Shade, I sympethise, my youngest daughter - she's fifteen now, was similarly easily bruised at school. Even at home, if she said something funny, as little ones do, and the family laughed, she would cry for ages. Your daughter will grow out of this in time, as her social skills develop. You need to reassure her, and affirm her at every opportunity, telling her she is loved, and valuable, and a good person. She will start to believe in herself as she grows. Always accentuate the positive to her about herself, and avoid the temptation to say that her friends are nasty - children find their own way through the world - with love and care from us.

[smudge]

Ah bless, your question has brought tears to my eyes! Couldn't you have a word with one of the pre-school teachers about the situation? Having said that, I'm sure it won't be too long before your little one comes home from school, reeling off a list of friends she has made.

[Cuddles]

I feel for you both. I would speak to my doctor about this and the pre-school teacher. Self-esteem issues can have many resons. Having been in a similar situation with my son I know how it breaks your heart because you feel helpless. I wish you the best of luck.