Batman came up to me the other day....

[Trojanfarce]

He slugged me over the head with a vase and went "T'PAU!"
As I picked myself up off the floor, I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?"
''No'' he said, "I've got china in my hand"

[Mortartube]

I love Tim Vine's jokes. They're great aren't they?

[CSIambleside]

Somebody congratulated me on my driving skills, the other day. They left a note on my windscreen that said - Parking Fine.

Another Tim Vine gem.

[Mortartube]

I stayed in a four star hotel the other day. All the rooms were full of petrol.

Thanks Tim

[CSIambleside]

I rang up a local builder the other day, I said, " I want a skip outside my house." He said, " I'm not stopping you, "