Jokes

[Fatoomfsh]

What is your favourite joke? Mine is 'what did the man say to his wife when she had two black eyes? Nothing, he'd already told her twice.

[raysparx]

What is Brown & Sticky ?























A Stick !!!!!!

[CrazyDaisy80]

Fatoomfsh, is that really a Joke??

[Fatoomfsh]

i dont know, did i really laugh???

[raysparx]

mines a good one, innit ????

[DotH]

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he is in diapers.

What do you if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

If they can send a man to the moon - why can't they send them all?

Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

[mnko]

knock knock


who's there?


banana


banana who



knock knock



whos there



banana


banana who


knock knock



whos there



orange


orange who



orange ya glad i didnt say banana

[PinkFizz]

Whats a donkey with 3 legs called?
A wonkey!!

[DotH]

Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If you want a committed man, look in the mental hospital

The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn;t ask for directions.

Sadly, all men are created equal

A man walks into a store which sells brains for transplant use. As he browses the selection, he notices that the female brains are cheaper than the male brains. When he asks for an explanation for the price difference, the store clerk responds,.."The female brains are less expensive because they have actually been used."

[Fatoomfsh]

yes ray, like it :)

[Fatoomfsh]

Did u like mine?

[DotH]

Why are men and parking spaces alike?

A: Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.



Q: What is the fastest way to a man's heart?

A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.



Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things as well.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men.....a woman.



Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q"..so the the mermaid did it and he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said" "Triple my I.Q."..and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed that he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said: "Are you sure about that? It will change your whole life!"..the fisherman said yes so the mermaid turned him into a woman.

[steviep165]

have man issues do you dot?

[raysparx]

How do you make a billiard table laugh ?


Tickle it's balls.

[DotH]

yes steve they aren't all as wonderful as mine is, many have definite failings and deep seated character flaws. I blame their Mothers.

[Veggibear]

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam! :-)

[Fatoomfsh]

Blame their mothers? The women??? U sure u wanna do that dot?

[steviep165]

well you're into all the hippy drippy crap dot, so why dont you see if you can reach out to the other side and contact mine for me.

[DotH]

yes absolutely, if the mothers of some of the toe rags I have encountered had not been so mollycoddling, then their beloved sons wouldn't have developed the incapacity to relate to the opposite sex on an equal level.

[DotH]

If I could I would contact mine Steve, and what is hippy drippy crap i have never heard of such a thing. You defo need to calm yourself down and remember u are in contact with total strangers on here, not your nowty neighbours who wind u up if they play Sabbath too loud.

[Fatoomfsh]

hmmmm....kind of a sweeping statement there....maybe u expect too much. Or maybe they expect more from u. Liked ur jokes tho, not sure i'll use any of them but still :)