The Ab Agony Aunt

[Dear-Doris]

Hello Everyone - "Dear Doris" is here at last.

Got a question that you simply dare not post under your own username?

Embarrassing ailment, cookery disaster, motoring mishap, tricky sex-life?


Email it to

[email protected]

and Doris will help you out.


Complete discretion is assured - a selection of anonymised answers will appear at regular intervals.

[Dear-Doris]

“Bothered of the Balearics” emailed to ask :

“Is it usual for a man of mature years to be obsessed with women’s underwear”

Doris Says :

“Many teenagers in the 1950s received their first insights into female bodies by perusing the (frankly quite frightening) lingerie pages of the Grattans and Kays Catalogues. The enormous fortified brassieres and impenetrable ‘roll ons’ may not have revealed a great deal, but they were the object of much schoolboy lust.

Those same schoolboys probably moved on to ‘Victoria’s Secret’ and the Swimwear Edition of Sports Illustrated as they entered adolescence and may even have had a furtive peek at an ‘Ann Summers’ publication, if especially bold.

None of this is in the least bit worrying – nor indeed would it be if your DH had simply now graduated to the Rigby and Peller mailing list – but you tell a more worrying tale.

An obsession with the ‘ladies in vests’ of the Damart Thermolactyl Catalogue is frankly beyond the pale. Before you know it he will be suggesting that you purchase the infeasible fleecy bloomers, for a bedroom ‘cocoa moment’.

I suggest a Lysistrata approach may be the only answer – he will soon come to realise which side his croissant is buttered on”.

[jno]

"tricky sex life" as in "find the lady"?

[murraymints]

Not bleeping likely !

[Mamyalynne]

Dear Doris

Why are eight of your nine answers not really answers?


Are you new to technology?

[Dear-Doris]

Hello Mammy

I was hoping to be able to share my avatar with you - but I don't quite understand the rules I think.

Doris

http://en.gravatar.com/userimage/67596224/ee70e09fe6c68e1395f0344d9027a06a.png?size=200

[gness]

Welcome to AB, Doris....this could be amusing.....☺

[Mamyalynne]

Mammy is it? Nice avatar, you need to be here a while yet before you can apply it to your account.

I wish you well.

[Tilly2]

This could be amusing.

[EcclesCake]

I fouled up our Sunday roast as the potatoes were terrible. I think it was because I needed to lance the boil on my bum while the spuds were simmering and I forgot about them......they were quite creamy I suppose.....

I'm concerned that my handbrake needs adjusting as I can give it a really good yank.....is this normal?

I do need some advice though, should I paint the nursery pink or blue?

[gness]

Dear Doris....I am hearing echoes......could this be a problem?

[scorpiojo]

.

[Tilly2]

Gness, you weren't there when I posted. Snap!

[Dear-Doris]

“A Berkshire Chef” asks :

“I have a huge reputation as a foodie – and my ‘cooking from basics’ recipes are well respected. But secretly I love a quick Asda Lasagne done in the microwave. Am I a bad person?”

Doris Says :

“Just Prick and Ping, darling, just Prick and Ping”

[Mamyalynne]

Don't you start Jo - I didn't ask how but why ?? LOL

[scorpiojo]

testing LOL

[Mamyalynne]

Actually whilst you are here, I do have a problem...


Dear Doris

My cousin Kevin has once more been caught taking the lead from the church roof - should we have him excommunicated??

[Mamyalynne]

Good girl Jo. allers test first. ;-)

[Dear-Doris]

Is he from Liverpool, Mamya?

If so he is probably just completing module 3 of his GCSE in metalwork.

[weecalf]

Dear doris ,A friend of mind has been asked to join a choir in the next parish ,trouble is next parish is in America ,He needs an answer by Thursday ,what is one to say .

[Mamyalynne]

I think his origins are shrouded in mystery, always said the Priesthood wasn't for him.