tired and over emotional, need to vent

[suagrtits]

i am over tired and over emotional and just want someone else's perspective on this matter, its something thats really bugging me and i want to speak up but at the same time i thinking am i over reacting and being silly over it. Basically me and my partner lost a friend to a heart attack recently and straight away i decided to do a collection for his wife and children as we are all good friends and my heart really went out to her, plus rather than seeing loads being spent on flowers i felt it would go to better use if we all gave money to the family. Anyway ive managed to raise a good couple of hundred pounds so far and there is more to collect too which im absolutely thrilled about. Only now i feel like im getting rail- roaded, ive spent alot of time and effort getting this sorted and i was told yesterday by my boyfriend that when im finished with collection i should hand it to another person and she will take it over to her instead of me as she has been friends with this person longer than i have! Am i wrong to be thinking 'hang on a minute'. Im not doing this for praise or anything but this was my idea, ive done the donkey work and i would like to be the one to give it to her, i want to be the one to see her face when she see's how much people have thought and gererously given to her and her family. Its really winding me up, i want to say something but i dont want to be a brat and i dont want to start a argument either. do i bite my tongue or risk sounding like a brat, like i said i could be reading too much into it really so would apprieciate feedback, thanks

[ladybird49]

You are already a friend so you probably feel YOU want to give it to her and also offer any support you can , just stand your ground .

[bednobs]

i think if you really want her to have the money, it doesn't matter who gives it to her

[cazzz1975]

I think you should stand your ground, you have done all the work, if her other friend was so much more of a better friend why didnt she start the collection in the first place?

[chi-chi66]

agree.x

[DaisyNonna]

Your boyfriend is behaving like a spoilt child. Your idea, your work, your riight to hand over the cash. No way are you being a brat. Stand your ground.

[brenda]

Stand your ground, you have done all the splendid work , so you hand it over.
As far as anyone else is concerned --tough.Well done you.

[NOX]

You really do need to stand your ground on this, it's not your boyfriend's concern- you thought of it, you did it and you deserve to see her reaction and for her to know it was you who instigated it. Stick to your guns and tell them straight you will be handing it over and don't enter into a dialogue about it.

[Psybbo]

Logically, you are responsible for the amount of money so only you can ensure she gets all of it. Well done, such a caring thing to do,

[Mamyalynne]

You started this and it is only right you see it through to the finish, I am sure you have ensured those who donated are mentioned in a card or somesuch, a caring and thoughtful thing to do, well done.

[sinderella]

do as you are told...NOT!!!!

[grasscarp]

This is your effort and no reason at all to pass it to anyone else or combine it. good for you. Well done.

[mojay]

I truly hope that after all the thought and effort you've put in - you will deliver , and I'm PDS you didn't do it for any thanks that might be felt - go girl !

[littleja]

What is wrong with your boyfriend? Is he misguided or just stupid? Why bring somone else into your heartfelt gesture. This is absolutely nothing to do with the other woman, whomever she is. You have done a marvellous job , and obviously not for thanks, for the grieving family. You,and you alone, should give the money to the family, if for no other reason than that you are 100% sure it all goes to them. Stand your ground it would not make you sound like a brat and do not hold your tongue either, your boyfriend certainly did not with his strange suggestion. You must be proud of all your selfless effort. Surely the widow would want to see the actual person who has helped so much. Good job he is only your boyfriend and not your husband, imagine his attempts at control then. Is he not proud of you? Hand the money over yourself. Good Luck.

[birdie1971]

I think you are absolutely right. I think your boyfriend is completely wrong. Just because someone has known someone longer than someone else says nothing about their depth of feeling.

In order to raise this money you have used your own time and energy. You have done so because of your compassion and love for this person. It is your personal tribute and gift to the family. You should be the one to pass on this gift, as without you, it probably wouldn't exist.

And may I say, what a wonderful thing to have done. Well done.

[trt]

Why does your b/f feel this way, ask him why, maybe he is jealous you are looking after your friend instead of him for a few weeks?

[mandy22]

Hand it over yourself, your boyfriend has got this completly wrong.
I am also sure that the other friend would not want to hand it over for you, as Im sure any decent friend would see the effort you have put in to something that was important to you to do and would see that its only right for you to finish the job. You have done something very nice, feel proud of yourself x

[suagrtits]

thanks guys, im definately going to stand my ground today on this one, i just didnt want to say how im feeling on this matter to him and then be told that i sound like a brat or something. it was winding me up so much last night that it took me hours to get off to sleep despite me only have 7 hours in the past 3 days!

[divegirl]

bit late but +1 for standing your ground.

Also it's times like these you really find out who your mates are and a true friend to this lady is not one that stands back and watches someone else do all of the hard work then 'takes the praise'.
Hope you get some sleep tonight

Lisa xxx

[boxtops]

I don't understand people's logic sometimes - being a friend longer than you doesn't mean she's any better a friend than you are. Stand your ground.

[woofgang]

weird boyfriend, are you sure he's the one for you? to me that kind of attitude would be a dealbreaker.