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No I understand, you're right, my mum being screwed over 25 yrs ago doesn't have any relevance, so I apologise. I guess I was, in a bad way, trying to emphasise how I'm so scared of finding myself in the same position as my mum, hence my very real fear of history repeating itself.
I don't see my relationship going south, but I've been burnt before, which is why I need to know what rights I have, if any, because whilst things could be rosy now, in 20 yrs will it be the same? My mum thought so, and it wasn't meant to be. So I see a pensioner, who brought up 3 children in a small flat, struggling to make ends meet, because she DIDN'T think of the 'what ifs',I WANT to think of the 'what ifs'.
I don't have a huge amount of confidence, neither am I assertive, so I don't want to sound cheeky by asking or assuming I'd be entitled to anything.
I'd be paying towards the mortgage(although it wouldn't be in my name) , but legally that wouldnt be worth anything if the relationship ended, or if something were to happen to me, and my daughter was left, possibly without a home.
I guess I need to know the questions to ask, or legally what I should ask to be written up. I never thought I'd be in a position to move, so i always thought I'd be renting a housing association home.
It sticks in my throat how my dad's wife ran away with everything - but I'll ask that question in another thread, as I don't believe this is the right place to ask that question.
I just wanted to say thank you for all those who have taken the time to help me by answering my question. Xx