Hymie
This sad story should serve as a wake-up call to all of you that still do not have smoke alarms fitted within your dwelling – they will even protect (your life) against arson. Available from...
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Hymie
I watched the DVD today; the cover reviews included:- ‘Hilarious’ – Total Film 'Terrific. A very funny movie’ – Daily Mail ‘A masterpiece, Nicholson gives one of...
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Hymie
40,000 – Predicted job loses as a result of Lloyds TSB takeover of Halifax Bank of Scotland, which the bank dismissed in 2008 as ‘ridiculous’. 43,000 – Job losses which have...
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Hymie
3 – Number of horses that died during the filming of HBO series Luck, causing its cancellation. 5 – Number of horses that died during Cheltenham Festival last week, causing it to carry on...
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Hymie
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17114875
Is this like being named footballer of the year?...
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Hymie
This is now quite old – but it keeps re-appearing every once in a while on main stream TV. A monkey is shown a display screen with single digit numbers at various locations on the screen, the...
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Hymie
A farmer in County Wicklow calls the local police to report that he has had 2,033 pigs stolen from his farm. What was the total number of animals reported stolen? Scroll down for the answer:- >...
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Hymie
George and Michael were driving back after a night out at a local gay bar. While stopped at a red light, a truck ran into the back of their car, causing considerable damage. George immediately says to...
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Hymie
1st Man; ‘You know, Don, every night my wife plasters her face with cream and puts her hair in curlers.’ 2nd Man: ‘Does it do any good?’ 1st Man: ‘No, not really –...
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Hymie
While out walking through his fields, a French farmer spotted a young couple making love in the open air. On closer inspection of the lovers, he noticed that the woman was dead. Having overcome his...
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Hymie
If you do oral sex, does it count against your weight watchers points?
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Hymie
31 January 2012: Deadline for individual UK taxpayers to submit 2010/11 tax returns and pay up, on pain of penalties. 31 July 2015: Deadline for Vodafone (profits: £10bn a year) to pay up on the...
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Hymie
I object to the way most women breast-feed in public.
Invariably the baby’s head obscures your view....
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Hymie
A stout woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. A drunk sitting nearby called out: ‘Where did you get that pig?’ ‘It’s not a pig,’ snapped the woman....
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Hymie
Last night my wife and I went to see an illusionist at the local theatre. He was really very good, with an impressive repertoire of tricks and stunts. Being a small theatre, after the illusionist had...
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Hymie
A Russian soldier was on a train, sitting opposite a Jew who was eating a fish meal. ‘Why are you Jews so successful in business?’ asked the Russian soldier. ‘Fish,’ replied...
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Hymie
While making love to my wife last night, I suggested that we swap positions the following evening – to which she readily agreed. This evening, my wife will be sitting on the couch watching TV,...
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Hymie
A newly married couple arranged to spend their wedding night at the bride’s parents’ house before setting off on their honeymoon the following day. However when they had not put in an...
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Hymie
Can someone help me out, I’m no good at cooking. The recipe I’m following here says to separate the eggs.
How far apart do they have to be?...
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Hymie
Today I did that thing where you walk into a room and totally forget what you went in for.
It was only when the sh!t started trickling down my leg that I remembered....
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