The First Christmas Joke - and it's Scottish.......... A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your...
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each...
I can't get a girlfriend and I am still staying at home with my sister and our mum.
Do you think that there is any hope for me?
http://i151.photobuck...gofthecastlesmall.jpg...
This is my poem what I made for humans to read. Frankie - aged 5 years and 1 day old. Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're purr-fect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror cause I get...
Babe-cats My human has entered me for a competition. The cutest cat wins a whole years worth of Whiskas. If we win she will be really, really cross when I refuse to eat it. I know that some of the...
Got a email from the ed saying that I haven't been on AB for a while. That is coz I have been much too busy doing 'cat things' to bother about this site. I have snoozing, sleeping and catnapping to do...
One of you sick humans told my human that Felix Marinades were great (and half price in Tesco). Well human bought a box and they were naff. We had to refuse three (or was it four) meals in a row....
Is it too much to ask that a Slave feed their master and mistress properly. I told her that we have gone off the rabbit in jelly Felix and what was my first meal of 2009? I might have to resort to...
How many Christmas trees have we demolished this year? Our slave refuses to get a normal tree and has purchased a topiary tree (last years tree - not even a new one) . I have tried to work out how to...
I have just crawled out from under the duvet to type this post. It is freezing here in Scotland - makes a cat glad that he is an 'indoor cat'. My sister is really lucky coz she has really long hair....
I think that it should be illegal to give boy cats cuddles. Humans should be banned for giving us a big hug coz that is for girls. I am tough and mean and I don't want cuddled. I lick kisses off my...
Are you still at the vets? Must be evil not being able to wee without pain or discomfort. My thoughts are with you everytime I go to my litter tray to flood it out. I is thinking about you - all...
Earlier today I was reclining in my favourite cardboard box when my human came along, picked me up, removed my blanket and dumped me down on hard cardboard. I followed her to see where she was going...
Our human has decided to go on something called a diet. She has also decided that Merlin and I go on a diet too. She has cut down our sachets from 1.5 to 1 each per day. She actually expects me to eat...
Hey buddies - did you both get lots of toys and sweets for Christmas? Did either of you manage to climb the Christmas tree? Our slave bought a tree that we couldn't climb - something called a topiary...
...because I can show my photograph to the world. Then all the pussy cats in the world will know that I am one cool tom cat. My sister is too silly and she can't work the computer. Her name is...
Meow, it's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way don't need to obey orders, I just do what I want. To know me is to love me. I am a helluva cat meow, it's hard to be humble. When I can...
Sam Have you been doing un-cat like things? This link takes you to the proof that you have been actually 'working' for a living. As a cat you should lie around getting in the way and demanding food...
