News18 mins ago
Sometimes The Leprechauns...
29 Answers
...make me do things.
I answered the phone to one of those annoying voices from a far off land far too interested in how I am.....you know....
Him....Good morning...am I speaking to MrsG....and how are.....etc....
In my head the leprechaun turned him into my brother.....☻
Me....Look M***...I dealt with mum's corns....you deal with the piles, it's your turn!
Him...Err....MrsG....am I spea......
Me....I don't care if she won't rub the cream in...you do it!
Him.....Hello???...Helloooo???.....Mrs......
Me...Well if you tie her hands together with her tights while you do it she won't hit out at you.....
Him......Good morning, MrsG...........(10 out of 10 for persistence ☺)
Me....Then buy her another rubber ring to sit on and confiscate the knitting needles......
Him.....Gone!!!!...
I amuse myself in simple ways....☺
I answered the phone to one of those annoying voices from a far off land far too interested in how I am.....you know....
Him....Good morning...am I speaking to MrsG....and how are.....etc....
In my head the leprechaun turned him into my brother.....☻
Me....Look M***...I dealt with mum's corns....you deal with the piles, it's your turn!
Him...Err....MrsG....am I spea......
Me....I don't care if she won't rub the cream in...you do it!
Him.....Hello???...Helloooo???.....Mrs......
Me...Well if you tie her hands together with her tights while you do it she won't hit out at you.....
Him......Good morning, MrsG...........(10 out of 10 for persistence ☺)
Me....Then buy her another rubber ring to sit on and confiscate the knitting needles......
Him.....Gone!!!!...
I amuse myself in simple ways....☺
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Gerbils - don't get me going. This was in the LA Times:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency
treatment after a *** session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained.
"As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a
hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next.
"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."
Makes you wonder what the Osmond family used to get up to......
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency
treatment after a *** session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained.
"As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a
hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next.
"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."
Makes you wonder what the Osmond family used to get up to......
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