News2 mins ago
errrm I am getting a few of these today..:o)
Don't laugh...it is all true.
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01.Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03.No one expects you to run--anywhere..
04.People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06.There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07.Things you buy now won't wear out.
08.You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09.You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14.Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologically than the national weather service.
17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list.
AND TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER ...
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01.Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03.No one expects you to run--anywhere..
04.People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06.There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07.Things you buy now won't wear out.
08.You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09.You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14.Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologically than the national weather service.
17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list.
AND TRY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER ...
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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The last line reminded me of this old joke.
Three men were discussing old age. The first said it took him ten minutes to
pass water. The second said it took him twenty minutes to pass a motion. The third said, At 8 o'clock every morning he pees like a horse, at 8-30 he's as regular as clockwork. The other two men ask, what are you complaining about ?
He replies, I don't wake up until 9.
Three men were discussing old age. The first said it took him ten minutes to
pass water. The second said it took him twenty minutes to pass a motion. The third said, At 8 o'clock every morning he pees like a horse, at 8-30 he's as regular as clockwork. The other two men ask, what are you complaining about ?
He replies, I don't wake up until 9.
1 to 4 of 4
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