I'm at my wits end

[system]

My mum 'asked Jesus into her life' when I was about 12.

Since then she hasn't bothered with me.

That I can handle but what I'm struggling with is she sees my youngest on a regular basis. He now thinks I'm going to hell...

Do I stop her seeing him?

[Ric.ror]

Well done - as usual JTH

[jackthehat]

Ermm....Thanks !?! :o)

[system]

I have never confronted her.

I wish I could, but I can't.

[beso]

There is probably no point confronting her. She will just see that as further evidence that you are a lost soul.

Best explain to your son that the whole basis for what both your mother says and what they teach him at school is actually fiction.

[jackthehat]

Belt up, beso.
If you have nothing constructive to add, why torment the OP ?

I think you need to decide whether your Mums visits are making your son happy or unhappy. He can't be happy picturing his mum experiencing fiery torments so perhaps you could staop them seeing each other for a bit ?

[venator]

Talk to the your priest, or to the school. I'd back a Jesuit against a cultist any day - they ought to be able to give you sound advice.

[beso]

So you don't think her mother could decide to go the path I suggested she might?

It would not be the first time someone did that. Persecution complexes are quite common in the mentally ill. I sincerely belive the confrontation would do more harm than good.

Telling the kid the truth is objectively the best way to go. He is confronted with two different versions of the story both coming from people who are convinced they have the real and unquestionable truth.

At this point a suggestion that he needs to come to his own truth and not blindly trust others would actually be a good thing for his emotional and intellectual growth.

One thing for sure is that left in his current position, he is being emotionally damaged.

[Old_Geezer]

It is no more obligatory for a catholic to send their child to a catholic school than it is for an atheist to send their child to an atheist school. As some have already indicated above, you seem to be making a rod for your own back. You could change that if you really wanted to. I appreciate the problem is what has already happened in the past affecting the present, but it doesn't help to have these beliefs reinforced to the detriment of your child.

Meanwhile you have been given good advice. You can only talk with your child and explain that not everyone believes the same thing; and point out how illogical a belief in everlasting torment (or similar) is; how one can see no reason a deity would create souls to put them through that.

But the best action is to take him out of a situation where these fears are being reinforced. You can always explain that granny has ideas you find strange and incorrect, but it's difficult to counteract their affect if they are backed up from elsewhere, and there is little in the way of a counterbalancing role model.

[Zeuhl]

Forgive me system but I find part of your earlier post amusing:

<< I am a catholic ....... I haven't accepted Jesus into my life>>

Well that probably confirms a few prejudices about catholics LOL

Seriously, blocking your mum from your son might leave him with underlying suspicions she is right. Might be better to explain and then continuously demonstrate to him your disdain for her extreme and unkind views and demonstrate your own, more positive, more constructive, and more tolerant attitudes to life and other people.

[sara3]

sorry, but I really think the time has come to confront her. you don't have to do it on your own, but don't overwhelm her (I'm assuming she's getting on a bit).

she can't be trying to turn your son against you, no matter what she's using as an excuse. you wouldn't take that from anyone else, so you mustn't take it from her.

give her a chance to pull herself together otherwise, I'd keep him away until he's old enough to choose whether he wants to see her, based on the facts.

[Old_Geezer]

I think it's a problem with system finding the courage to do that.

No wish to offend anyone's religious beliefs, but the mental welfare of the child is paramount. so it would be nice if a word could be said explaining the problem is not with system taking up her mother's beliefs but of her mother's beliefs frightening the child.

[sara3]

maybe there are siblings who can have a word with the mother?

[jomifl]

System .. if you are happy to accept the teachings of the catholic church then you cannot seriously be critical of the beliefs of another believer just because she has different beliefs to you.

[system]

I do not have an issue with her beliefs. I have an issue with the fact that she tells my son I am going to hell.

@Sara. I used to believe. I'm uncertain now.

[ludwig]

// I do not have an issue with her beliefs. I have an issue with the fact that she tells my son I am going to hell. //

But that is her belief - that you are going to hell.

[WuTang]

sit back, take your shoes off, chill, take a pill relax

[ludwig]

I will. Thanks WuTang.

[guilbert]

Have you ever thought about doing a system restore?

[Ellipsis]

You said your youngest son...

Have your older children ever said anything similar? Have you spoken to them about what your youngest son said, to get their take on it?