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Builder's bum - wolf whistles

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kahunabean | 10:02 Thu 19th Dec 2002 | Body & Soul
18 Answers
Ok hypothetical question for the ladies: An ok looking builder on a scaffold whistles at you as you walk past. He doesn't do it indiscriminately - he has singled you out is this: 1. Totally unacceptable - we have all moved on from this kind of chauvinistic behaviour. 2. You are pleased to be appreciated but a tad guilty for letting down the sisterhood. 3. You are delighted that there are still some discriminating people left who aren't bound by stuffy prudish politically correct notions. 4. It's made your day. This is a genuine question ! ;-)
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I haven't been whistled at for years so I think I would be delighted, if I was totally sure it was me he was whistling at and not some slim blonde behind me, and if I was sure he wasn't taking the P**s.
It would probably make me feel uncomfortable, to be honest. They could be any sort of pervert, and I don't want to attract attention from someone like that.
I would think, oh get a life, you sad git, this is the 21st century and you've probably got a wife and kids sitting at home anyway.
So to clear this up are you both saying (Ravenhair and Cathy) that you don't like being admired??? As you are both gorgeous females why wouldn't you like a man apprecicating your beauty (even though it is a bit crude) would you prefer to be ignored? I respect that you don't want to be oggled or leered over but surely it's nice to be found sexy and attractive? Please don't take offence i'm only curious just like kahuna.
I would be thrilled to bits and take in the spirit in which it was given - and smile back - so everyone would be happy! Anyway it would all be forgotten in a few minutes - so no harm would be done!
Probable flattered but embarrassed. If we were both alone I would probably feel intimidated
Can I turn this round on the men for a moment. How would you feel if walking down the street you were very obviously "admired" by a not untractive young lady say smiling or winking at you ( as a true lady doesn't whistle)? What would you do and how would you feel?
I do like to be admired, but that isn't what this is about. If some strange bloke walked up to me and said that he found me really attractive I would feel the same way. Maybe I just have a nervous disposition, but if people started treating me in this way I would be worried about what he is up to.
Parkhead, Not that I think I'm very good looking or anything but this did happen to me a couple of weeks ago when i was out gigging with the band......It's very flattering and an ego boost to find someone findind you attractive enough to take a second look and I didn't mind at all.....though i can understand women maybe feeling a tad more threatened with so many bad things happening these days.
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Personally, Parkhead, in the very few times anything like this has happened to me my overwhelming feeling has been "that's nice". But the reason I asked was that (clearly) the balance of charming/threat/creepiness is different for women.
You get used to it, parkhead, I guess.
In answer to sft42's question, of course it's nice to feel admired and lusted after. The point is that when a workman does it, he is not actually admiring or lusting after *me* personally. It's just an unthinking reaction to a woman walking by. I can imagine that if I approached him and propositioned him there and then that he's run a mile (back to wife and kids, probably). It's hard to be flattered when you're not really being complimented personally. Rant over. I'm going home now.
I'd just whistle back if alone, and with friends, then usually shout something crude back at them. You find the biggest "toughest" of "workmen" go all coy and embarrassed when its given back to them! :o) Its not offensive to me tho, as Cetti said, it means nothing personal, and is all forgotten within 5 minutes. C'mon girls... lighten up!
Some strange and some very sensible replies here. If every man who ever told a lady he fancied them is a pervert then watch out ladies - your partner/husband (if you have one) must be a pervert. Surely it all depends on the location. Walking past a building site in the middle of the day (as the original question suggested) no problem - ignore or respond as you wish as there is no threat. However, there might be other occasions (late at night etc.) where you would justifyably find this distressing.
Well, Gef, bad things don't only happen at night. I've had a couple of unpleasant incidents in daytime. When I was an engineering apprentice one bloke would whistle at me, shout at me and throw things at me. Maybe this (with other things) has made me overly sensitive to wolf whistling, etc., but it still makes me feel slightly threatened. It has nothing to do with these stupid PC notions going around. If women are flattered, well good luck to them.
Sorry Cathy, I understand what you mean. What I meant was that you should not feel intimidated if there are other members of the general public about. The situation you describe when you were an engineering apprentice is totally unacceptable and I hope that you reported it.
I wouldn't take any notice apart from being mildly amused.
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