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Nevin | 07:54 Mon 20th Dec 2004 | Body & Soul
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How can you tell when you love someone?
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It depends on the type of person you are, but if you feel sick 90% of the time and unbelieveably happy 10% of the time, you are in lust.  If after you know the person well, and you have survived some difficult times without holding a grudge, and you still feel sick occasionally and happy at other times, you might be in love.  If you feel secure and comfortable as well, you are (a) lucky and (b) possibly in love.   There is no foolproof way of knowing for sure.  Some say you just know if you are, but most people have thought that they are at some point, only to find out it was infatuation.  If, in the words of various poets and song writers, are inspired to be a better person, you may be in love. 

in love is sick/giddy/ happy. When you love someone, you don't care if they leave their socks till last when they undress, scatter said socks round the bedroom like confetti, snore etcet. You imagine the worst when they are late, yell at them if they do anything dangerous, yell twice as loud if they get hurt and would rather watch re runs of old war films with them and eat takeaway pizza, than go to Paris on a date with George Clooney
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Both very good answers.
It's not a subject that people usually feel comfortable talking about seriously, and I wonder if modern concepts of love have spiralled away from the original notion.
I always thought love would be rather like woofgang's answer and that one can only ever claim to love the people and things that one makes an efffort to look after. It's all about unconditional giving, I thought. Having been in a relationship for 4 years now it appears more like Bangkok's answer. Have expectations been built to high by hollywood, or do we two often ignore/supress true feelings, thinking they are mere fantasies, and settle for what we have?

My Grandparents were married for 60+ years.  The only time they were apart was while my Grandad served in WW2 and once when my Grandma went to the US for 10 days to see friends.  My Grandad wrote everyday, even though the letters didn't get there in time and were returned.  They never spend another night apart by choice.  Towards the end, Grandma was critically ill, and Grandad had been ill for some time but wanted to be there for Grandma.  She died, and within a few days of the funeral, Grandad had sorted out his affairs and died. He didn't want to live any more, and I honestly believe he died the happiest man in the world as they were both deeply religious and regardless of what you or I think, he knew in his heart he was going to be re-united with Grandma.

 

That is undoubtedly true love, and I am sure lots of people have similar tales.  Hollywood has no idea about true love, but my Grandparent's story wouldn't sell.  It doesn't bring us any closer to how you know, but it is not going to be found on celluloid

Bangkok that is really sad but also really happy! There are SO many examples of one spouse dying, and then the other dying shortly after, as they would rather be together. I would make a film about your grandparents!!
I think once the novelty of the first few months wears off, it can feel disappointing if you are expecting the "butterflies and rollercoaster emotional stage" to carry on indefinitely.

Personally I hated the getting to know each other stage, where you had to leave the room every time you wanted to fart in case it put him off. I even remember going to bed with sunglasses on because I didn't want him to see me without make-up.
I think you can tell when you love someone when you love their company and their wellbeing and happiness matter more than your own.
But did you mean when you love someone or are IN love with someone?


you just know

yeap :)

Well I don't know if you're in love, I guess I don't know that I am but I think I may be.  I have been with my fella for 2 years, the first few months were fab and exciting and we stayed up untill 6am talking and enjoying eachother, now we go to bed at 10pm, we stay up til midnight and watch a film.  We cook for eachother, and take turns in treating eachother to brekkie in bed, a lay in and a hot bubbly bath.  I know I wouldn't swap him for the world.  it's like I exchanged the not-knowing and exciting honeymoon period for a secure, comfortable and honest relationship, and I wouldnt change a thing.
You'll know you're in love when you don't need to ask yourself that question. =)
You can't imagine life without her, or before you met her.

you have all the typcail feelings, and then you jsut know, no one can discribe that added feeling to tell you that you are in love, you have so much trust in them, you dont just love them for a bf/gf but for a friend aswell, hope this helps xx

It depends on who you are. Some people find themselves getting gooey over things like romantic comedies and soft colourful fabrics, while other people find themselves loitering behind a bushes while making obscene phonecalls on their mobile.

It isn't possible to tell but u do just know
You can tell because when you are around this person you feel great, happy. Sometimes you find your self only thinking about this person. When you are around this person you just feel like nothing else matters. When you feel like you would do any thing for them.

I agree with Romeo and raven8401. When you are with them you dont think anything in the world can go wrong with you, cause its possible to meet the right guy, so anything dreamy can be possible.

You think you and them can do anything, because you found each other, nothing can stop you. For example a very very good job etc. You feel getting a very good job is easier than finding your perfect partner.

Does anyone else feel this?

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