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Snowflake85 | 23:56 Tue 21st Oct 2008 | Family & Relationships
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I've just got married to a man that is in the Army. He got posted out to Germany a few months before the wedding. I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship who's father see's her for an hour 2 nights in the week and on alternate weekends. He started paying CSA last year although this had to be done by attachment of earnings on his wage. I now wish to move to Germany with my new husband. The father is not currently on the birth certificate (due to him not being around the first 6 months after the birth) but is threatening to take me to go to court to make that happen. If he does get on the certificate what are my chances of moving to Germany with my husband and child? I will make sure the father still see's her in all the holidays and I am willing to sign something to agree to this. Can anyone offer any advise?
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you should be ok as now you are married and constitute a family . You were never married to your ex and as he is not on the birth cert he has no legal rights as such. Whilst he is free to aply his delay will be taken in to account and his involvement. As long as you are still happy for her dad to remain in contact then the courts if they become involved will see how reasonable you are, He may not actually apply to be named on the birth cert and may be threatening.
Good luck with your new life
Am confused that some men neglect their children until another man comes on the scene? The father has no rights on this child but still has to pay CSA, and rightly so! He wont have to pay CSA if the child is legally adopted by your husband.

You have every right to move with your husband and if the child's father wants to visit then it's his responsibility to travel to the child.
you cant put him on the certificate, onced signed thats it you can not make any alterations ever! you can get copys with more or less information but you cant change the original certificate.

there are so many cases out there and all seem to be different,

my sister spilt from the father of her child and he got parental responability, he has him every other weekend and can take him on holiday for 2 weeks a year, this is via the courts, also she has to write to the court for permission if she wants to go away for longer then 2 weeks her self, so basically if she wanted to move abroad, this would be a breach and will end up in court, i have no idea whether they could stop her, i should imagine not, but on the other hand. the father has as much right to the child as the mother,

does he have any rights through the court over your child?

i dont know your situation but im sure you would be able to move and nothing he can do about it, but as much as you may dislike him you have to see if from his point of view, you are taking his child away from him, he must be gutted :o(

good luck xx
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Yes I do understand he is gutted and I appreciate that and have therefore tried to make this as easy as possible for everyone. Unfortunately my attempts at being reasonable with him have failed and I was issused a court order this evening preventng me from leaving the country untill the matter has been resolved. He has also lied on the form stating that my daughter would be abused in the form of me abducting her. He apparently has two witnesses to say that I have said I was going to take her regardless. Funny how no one knows that I intended on leaving isnt it
sorry to hear that snowflake is he looking for full custody? It is best to seek legal advice
You definittely need legal advice Snowflake, and I think onlyme's right. the father's name can't be added to the birth certificate now.
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No I dont think so. He seems to be looking at shared custody. I've been looking at similar cases to mine and the courts usually go in the residential parents favour. It's a shame really concidering I offered him more time with his daughter than he will probebly get from the courts. It shows to me that to him ownership of her is more important than time with her.
the court cannot prohibit you from leaving so shared custody may be difficult

Sorry only me parents can apply to the courts to be appointed as guardians as children in the case of unmarried parents and to seek to have their name on birth certs. It is a long bureaucratic task but it is possible. a new birth cert is drafted this is also the case for those that have been named as fathers on birth certs but are not the biological father
Interesting pink, because I thought that like death certs, birth ones couldn't be altered once they were signed.
Onlyme26 is wrong. A natural father's name can be added to a birth record:
http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/births/canic hangethebirthrecordatalaterdate/birth3e.asp

Your daughter's father can acquire 'parental responsibility' either through having his name added to the birth record or by seeking a court order giving him such responsibility. (Such an order may be granted even though his name does not appear on the birth record).

If your daughter's father acquires parental responsibility, you will be committing a serious criminal offence (under the Child Abduction Act 1984) if you take your daughter out of the country without his permission. (The only exception is that, when a court has granted you a residence order, you can take your daughter out of the country for a maximum period of one month without her father's permission):
http://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/apply-child-rul es-parental-responsibility-rules.asp

Your daughter's father might find it very difficult to get his name added to the birth record without your cooperation. However, that doesn't bar him from acquiring parental responsibility through a court order (which the court can grant even if you're opposed to it). See here:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRig hts/DG_4002954

If he gets the relevant court order, you can only move to Germany if you get his consent.

Chris
I'll be the first one to say thanks for that Chris - and apologies to pink. I didn't think it was possible to change the thing. x
no probs I come across it at work all the time

But snowflake given you are moving to be with your husband the court cannot prohibit you from leaving the idea of sole custody amy be enough to get him to consent good luck.
If he applies to be added to birth cert in spite of your frustration it is best to co-operative as it will show how reasonable you are. Thing is he can get it done anyways so no point fighting for something you wont win. Sorry your going through all this hastle.

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