Connections # 323- Mon 29 April
Quizzes & Puzzles3 mins ago
Can Ex take Daughter to live abroad?
28 Answers
Hi all,
I'll cut a very long complicated story short.....
My Brother has a 3 year old Daughter by a one night stand & as awful as this sounds doesn't want contact. His ex (who is a complete nutcase, we've known her since she was a small child so this isn't a rash judgement) said she was going to have a termination but didn't so it was a child he never really wanted as he was only in his late teens at the time. He pays (& always has paid) maintainence through the CSA & had a DNA test done through them when she was born but isn't on the birth certificate.
His Ex is with a new partner & almost 2 years ago asked my Brother if the new man could adopt his Daughter. My brother agreed to this as although he doesn't want contact with his child he does want what is best for her & her to be happy. The problem is she keeps putting it on hold & it's unsettling for everyone not knowing what is happening. She is VERY money orientated & only ever discusses money when she contacts my Brother (Via me) she never discusses his Daughter just what money she should get etc etc. She also tried to blackmail my Brother at which point we involved the Police & Social Services.
Anyway my question is this......
His Ex has decided she wants to move to OZ with my Brothers Daughter & her partner, can she do this without my Brothers permission if her partner hasn't adopted the little girl?
My Brother just wants everything sorting out, the adoption to go through & for everyone to get on with their own lives but while ever he is still the legal Father his life is being made hell by the Ex. Can he stop her until she sorts out the adoption?
Sorry it's rather long & random but this really is a very short version of a very difficult situation.
Thanks
Doc2410
xxx
I'll cut a very long complicated story short.....
My Brother has a 3 year old Daughter by a one night stand & as awful as this sounds doesn't want contact. His ex (who is a complete nutcase, we've known her since she was a small child so this isn't a rash judgement) said she was going to have a termination but didn't so it was a child he never really wanted as he was only in his late teens at the time. He pays (& always has paid) maintainence through the CSA & had a DNA test done through them when she was born but isn't on the birth certificate.
His Ex is with a new partner & almost 2 years ago asked my Brother if the new man could adopt his Daughter. My brother agreed to this as although he doesn't want contact with his child he does want what is best for her & her to be happy. The problem is she keeps putting it on hold & it's unsettling for everyone not knowing what is happening. She is VERY money orientated & only ever discusses money when she contacts my Brother (Via me) she never discusses his Daughter just what money she should get etc etc. She also tried to blackmail my Brother at which point we involved the Police & Social Services.
Anyway my question is this......
His Ex has decided she wants to move to OZ with my Brothers Daughter & her partner, can she do this without my Brothers permission if her partner hasn't adopted the little girl?
My Brother just wants everything sorting out, the adoption to go through & for everyone to get on with their own lives but while ever he is still the legal Father his life is being made hell by the Ex. Can he stop her until she sorts out the adoption?
Sorry it's rather long & random but this really is a very short version of a very difficult situation.
Thanks
Doc2410
xxx
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Thanks K8bailey,
I've had a brief chat with our solicitor & she does have to get his permission even though he's not on the birth cert. This is because he had a DNA test via the CSA. I know it sounds bad but it is in everyone's best intrest that he doesn't see her. He never gets in touch with his Ex she constantly bombards us with emails etc etc hence the police becomming involved & she is the one who started this whole stupid argument off. He isn't bothered about them moving away he just wants to know wether he will remain her legal parent or not. If so then maybe when his Ex sorts herself out some sort of contact can be made with his Daughter.
As for deliquents Pink-Kittens it was my Brother who ended up with an axe in his head not his Ex so who's going to turn the child into a delinquent?? THE MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've had a brief chat with our solicitor & she does have to get his permission even though he's not on the birth cert. This is because he had a DNA test via the CSA. I know it sounds bad but it is in everyone's best intrest that he doesn't see her. He never gets in touch with his Ex she constantly bombards us with emails etc etc hence the police becomming involved & she is the one who started this whole stupid argument off. He isn't bothered about them moving away he just wants to know wether he will remain her legal parent or not. If so then maybe when his Ex sorts herself out some sort of contact can be made with his Daughter.
As for deliquents Pink-Kittens it was my Brother who ended up with an axe in his head not his Ex so who's going to turn the child into a delinquent?? THE MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pink kittens my brother coud easily be described as a deliquent he is violent, doesn't work and occasionally deals and uses drugs I'm not proud of this by the way. but I believe that at least some of his behaviour can be attributed to HAVING his father in his life, his father is an extremely violent and manipulative man, so no it's not always best to have both parents involved and its not lways true that kids whos daddy was absent turn out bad.
It is however, traumatic to be fought over by parents both wanting you to side with them!
It is however, traumatic to be fought over by parents both wanting you to side with them!
I'm sure K8 that you are right, but it gives these 2 'parents' no right to argue over a child one of them doesn't want!
Doc, posters often come here get replies and then bleat on about how those repliees (is that a word??) don;lt know the situation, don't know my brother blerdy blerdy bler
You're right, we don't know but we do know what you have told us.
Get down from your ivory tower and smell the coffee - why should you brother be an ar**ole and stop a child he DOES NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH from having a fresh start in another country?
I feel there is an awful lot more going on here than you know yourself
Doc, posters often come here get replies and then bleat on about how those repliees (is that a word??) don;lt know the situation, don't know my brother blerdy blerdy bler
You're right, we don't know but we do know what you have told us.
Get down from your ivory tower and smell the coffee - why should you brother be an ar**ole and stop a child he DOES NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH from having a fresh start in another country?
I feel there is an awful lot more going on here than you know yourself
bloody hell all you people judging something you know nothing about are a bloody disgrace to call yourselves human beings, why are you all so eager to jump down someones throat just because he doesnt want to have a relationship with a child he did not want, the mother only wanted for a meal ticket and would do what every f@@ked up female whos been chucked etc does, turn a child against the father with comments etc, i should flippin no my own brother has been to hell and back with a money grabbin cow who was lucky to get a boyf to start with given her appearance, she has refused him access, took every penny she can lay her hands on, hardly works a day and had my nephew tell my brother at 2yrs old i might add ' dad i dont want to see you any more'. that is the work of a woman scorn i mean really catch a grip you lot and see the world for what it is, some women are that coniving that even when a man thinks he is being careful the witch has already made sure she will get her meal ticket for 18 yrs.
Wow! What vitriol
Only thing I can say is to the anyone who has 'mad as hatters' ex's, the children do not deserve this. Be these mothers money grabbing bitches in your eyes or not, the child needs a roof over their head, food etc etc and both parents need to pay for that
It's all very sad to see children being fought over like a bargaining tool by parents who should not have become parents to start with :( one parent saying can I have money and the other saying no
Only thing I can say is to the anyone who has 'mad as hatters' ex's, the children do not deserve this. Be these mothers money grabbing bitches in your eyes or not, the child needs a roof over their head, food etc etc and both parents need to pay for that
It's all very sad to see children being fought over like a bargaining tool by parents who should not have become parents to start with :( one parent saying can I have money and the other saying no
NAFLHARRISON.......OMG are you sure it's not the same girl lol??? You have just described my Brothers Ex down to a T!! The only thing missing is my Brother ended up in hospital with an axe through his head for seeing his daughter & has the scars to remind him!
People are so quick to judge, they always listen to the poor mothers side & don't realise that they can be the actual 'Baddie' in it all. She fully intended to get pregnant, get a council flat, claim benefits & claim child support off any poor idiot that had a decent job & could pay! Unfortunately my Brother was the idiot that couldn't keep it in his pants & slept with her hence it was a one night stand & DNA was needed to prove he was the Father.
She certainly got all she wished for as she has achieved all she set out to do!
My Brother has always wanted to pay for his child, this also gets forgotten about & it was his Ex who came to us about the adoption not the other way round. No parents should fight over any child, something which my Brother refuses to do &v as he doesn't want his Daughter to be hurt anymore than she will be/has been but all he gets is put down & called names.
Not everything is black & white & unfortunately we don't live in an ideal perfect world although it appears some of you like to think you do.
People are so quick to judge, they always listen to the poor mothers side & don't realise that they can be the actual 'Baddie' in it all. She fully intended to get pregnant, get a council flat, claim benefits & claim child support off any poor idiot that had a decent job & could pay! Unfortunately my Brother was the idiot that couldn't keep it in his pants & slept with her hence it was a one night stand & DNA was needed to prove he was the Father.
She certainly got all she wished for as she has achieved all she set out to do!
My Brother has always wanted to pay for his child, this also gets forgotten about & it was his Ex who came to us about the adoption not the other way round. No parents should fight over any child, something which my Brother refuses to do &v as he doesn't want his Daughter to be hurt anymore than she will be/has been but all he gets is put down & called names.
Not everything is black & white & unfortunately we don't live in an ideal perfect world although it appears some of you like to think you do.
