The Mysteries Of The Male Psyche

[abrakazabra]

I'm being relentlessly pursued by an ex-boyfriend who i went out with over 4 years ago. He seems to hassle me (by fone, sending loads of raunchy texts etc) for a few months each year, then it goes quiet til the next year when it starts all over again. I don't encourage him, have made it very clear that I'm happy with my boyfriend of 2 & a half years etc...
So two questions... 1. WHY?! and 2. Why does my current boyfriend not seem at all bothered by this.. even seems to find it amusing?!

[gypsy]

i would change my phone number for a start..so he has no contact..your current boyfriend can probably see him for the sad person he is and is not threatend by his behaviour,,its about time the ex got a life and if you cut him off by changing your number then he will have to move on...if he sent me raunchy texts i would tell him that if he continues to do so then i will report him for malicious calls etc...the ex by contacting you is just hanging onto that little bit of control he has left..he must be really juvenile..if you want to be happy get rid of him and his weird behaviour...its odd how he only does it every so often its allmost as though something triggers his memory and he restarts his contact...its not really fair on your new boyfriend whether he minds or not...so just put the ex where he belongs...gypsy

[natalie_1982]

Would you prefer a boyfriend who sees your ex as the saddo he is?  Or one who gets angry and leaps 10 foot in the air whenever your phone goes off?

 

I'd say the same as gypsy, change your number and appreciate the man you have, and don't spend any time even thinking about your ex - he obviously isn't worth it.

[jayarnold]

As a man, I can understand that splitting up from someone especially if it was the other person who does the splitting up, can be a very hard thing to cope with. It has a number of reasons, mainly the ego dent, then theres the disbelief that you could like someone else more and finally the fact that you had all these feelings for him and now he cant understand why they have all gone and makes himself believe that they arent all gone and that you will take him back. OR maybe he's just still angry and is just trying to annoy you and your new bloke, in which case your boyfriend is doing the right thing and just taking it as humerous. You should not reply, not acknowledge him and just go on as if nothing is happening. He will soon get bored. CONCLUSION : Your ex needs to let go and grow up.

[OBonio]

You current boyfriend probably isn't threatened by your ex (which shows he trusts you) and so chooses to ignore him.  I'd say that was a good thing myself.

[Jay70]

Are you sure it's not your boyfriend sending the messages as a test of your faithfulness?  Using another simm card in his phone and your ex's name.

[Diablod666]

i highly doubt that jay 70 is correct, but i would agree with all the others. your boyfriend is obviously not threatened by your ex, or he would definitely have done something about it. i think its gd he finds it funny, nd if you dont reply to ur x then he will get bored and stop. or you could take the view of ur bf and find the humour in it and perhaps encourage him just for the fun of it! because that guy deserves no sympathy, he seems to b a bit of a w****r 2 me

[Octavius]

Presumably you still have your ex-boyfriends number on your mobile to know its him??  You have made it clear to him? I think any response to him would be an encouragement (guys don't take hints well).  So don't respond at all.

 

Anyway, as a bloke, I can't understand why anyone would send raunchy emails to their ex knowing that they are in a new relationship.  However, your boyfriend is reacting exactly as I would - the ex is a wally and should be ignored until he goes away.  If the 'harassment' continues further then change your number.