only 6 weeks to potty train

[kitten_uk2]

need help with this one, finnally got my son into nursery which he starts sept 4th, he needs this as he is bored at home. he isnt potty trained, i did tell the staff at the nursery this and they just said you have six weeks to do it then. they dont usually take kids still in nappies but one staff said they would take my son part potty trained in pull ups. if u are a regular on here u will probably remember my rants aout my 3 yr old, and how im always comparing him, because hes so behind. so anyway, started potty training this week, sat him on his potty for over an hour, after his breakie and bribed him to stay there with treats. he did nothing, and the poor thing still has a red ring round his bum. this is such a enourmas pressure on me at mo, and if u read my last rant in this section, i still cant cope!!!!!!

[teddybon]

Are you sure this nursery is OK? It is unwise of them to force you to potty train your son in 6 weeks. If you can manage it ,well done, if you can't (Boys take longer to train than girls generally) I would suggest you find a nursery abiding by current regulations.

[annie0000]

I had a book called "toilet training in less than a day" which I used with both my boys - I didn't try to train them until almost 3 either and again because they were starting nursery. Whilst this is an american book and a bit old fashioned, when you get past the associated drivel, the theory did work. They went from not being trained at all - to trained with only an occasional accident in the one day.

My nursery would not allow them to wear pull ups (school nursey), but they seemed happy enough to deal with the occasional accident. If it was me, I would rather change some wet pull ups than an entire set of clothes and mop the floor!

You need to set aside a day to be only with your child and stock up on rewards and juice and you need a doll that peas and plenty of pants that are easy to pull up and down and patience, but I thoroughly recommend it. If you cant find the book, let me know and I will explain the whole method for you.

[B00]

I'd be grateful for this advice too annie? Mini Boo is 2 and half and whilst I've not bothered about it that much at this early stage I have tried her on the potty. She flatly refuses to sit on it and screamed the place down when i tried to make her, so I only tried to make her the once!

She'll happily sit her dolls and teddies in it, but refuses to stick her own backside in it. I also tried to see if she'd sit on the toilet, again, it was like I was trying to sew her legs off, so only tried that once too!

i have also tried to put her in knickers, my thinking was that if she was wet and uncomfortable, that would encourage her, but no, that didn't work either.

so i'm stumped as well. So I guess I'll just sit alongside kitten here and await ideas, dont let us down Abers, lol.

[leewayne]

They shouldnt make you push him,its just gonna make him go off the idea,my son starts nursery in sept too,but they seem fine if he has accidents,i cant remember how i got him potty trained,i just told him his nappys were tired and that he needed to use big boy toilet. You can buy these balls that go in the toilet from sainsburys and he has to aim at them if you know what i mean!! that mite help him,i wouldnt stress too much if hes not potty trained.They cant dismiss him just cos hes not toilet trained yet!! Good luck anyway,if he does try and go toilet still praise him. Or a reward chart might help in the bathroom??!!!

[annie0000]

I gave the book away to another mother whose child was starting school and was still not toilet trained. I can however remember the method pretty well. I am at work just now, but will type it up later on and post here.

Don't fret though, they all get trained in the end. Despite parents anguish, there are very few kids at school (unless they have other problems) that can't walk, talk, use the toilet, feed themselves etc. They just all get there at different times.

[Le Chat]

With both of my boys, I just spent as much of the day with them naked from the waist down! It was summer and they both enjoyed watering a special plant. In this way they got to save up their wee, so they could let it all go on some poppies....with great adulation from mother and anyone else present. I found that they made a quick and easy association between the 'feeling' of wanting to wee and then actually doing it. If you think about it, because they are in nappies, they don't actually 'see' the weeing or pooing action and it can come as a bit of a shock at first, especially seeing the latter! It's a pity the weather is so lousy or you could give it a shot kitten! (my husband calls me kitten, so I smile when I see your name!)
Even now they still enjoy "cleaning the wheels" of Dad's car with a lovely jet of warm wee!! (They are 11 and 3!!)

[Liza B]

Hi I think it is very unfair of the nursery to force you to potty train. I forced my eldest daughter by like you making her sit on the potty and giving her sweeties, it did work BUT after a couple of months she went back to wetting herself. When I tried to train my twin boys they were no interested, I spoke to friend who told me to wait a couple of months and try again, I did and they were both dry within 2 days, I just told them there is the potty and here is a sticker if you pee in the potty, they were 2 1/2 and dry every since. My other set of twins I again tried and they weren't ready so I left them a couple of months and the girl was ready but her brother wasn't. I left it for a couple more months and did the same as their brothers two days and they were dry.
My eldest daughter felt under pressure to do her daughter she tried it at the age of just turned 2, but she wasn't ready, I told her to leave it a couple of months and try again, she did and 2 days into it and she was dry.
What I'm trying to say is do not force your son into it, it makes you both very stressed and unhappy, give it a break and try again in a few weeks and see how get on. It will happen, and your nuresery should be more understanding and realise that children all develope at their own rates and not what the book says (its not like the kids read the book).
You will get there and good luck.

[kirstyjo]

Hiya all, I was under the impression that nurseries were not allowed to refuse children that are not 'potty trained' as it is a form of discrimination?

Every child is entitled to 2 1/2 hrs free nursery placement the term after their third birthday, therefore your son should be enroled regardless of his toilet habits.

I may have this muddled, but this is how I understood the law to stand at the moment?

If he isn't ready, no amount of bribery, begging, forcing etc will work, if a child is ready they can be 'trained' in a matter of days. I have no intention of 'training' my 2 1/2 yr old until I know he is ready. Gone are the bad old days of forcing a baby onto a potty after every feed at barely 9 months old!!!

Good luck, and please, from one mother (of 4) to another, take a breath, and realise there are worse things. Please. We are with you!!!

Kirsty

p.s. I am a 1st time poster, I hope I am ok

[Panic Button]

Haven't read the other answers so apologies if I repeat what hasbeen said.

Mine are now 14 and 8 so I am reaching into the memory.

I do remember though that these litle blighters are cleverer than you give them credit for, and can sense the parents anxieties. Some of them will use this to control a parent, and even punish them!

If your child isn't ready for potty training then don't do it yet.
If you do then do your level best not to let him sense your frustration. (By your description I think he just might know you are mildly tense!)

[kitten_uk2]

thanx for all your answers, its my day off work today so i plan to potty train all day if poss, hes had 45mins on potty and nothing but a red ring on his bum so ive just put him in a pair of shorts no nappy and see what happens. im rather stressed today,, seems time is ticking away and i feel im doing all this on my own. did anyones elses hubby help with potty training, because my hubby seems to refuse. i thought it would help if my son saw daddy pee in the potty, but he wont do it, and also refuses to watch him all the time with no nappy on. so im on my own. :( anyway, even though declan is three, he cant talk yet, says odd word but doesnt understand much, you could ask him if he wanted grass for tea and he would say yes. so you can understand the pressure here. after reading the odd book about potty training, it did mention most kids are potty trained at 18months. declan didnt start walking till he was 2. and still in 12-18 month clothes. i just dont know where to start.

[gina32]

annie, cant wait for your write up about potty training in a day, my grandson is just over two and im trying to train him

[tigwig]

Hi kitten from what you say about your son I don't think he is ready for potty training at all. If he didn't walk until he was two and can hardly talk it is not very likely that he understands what an earth he should do on the potty! I would speak to someone at nursery if possible now it is school hols if not do it the day before he starts. The nursery staff need to know all the details about your son and how he has been behind in other stuff if you haven't already told them. To me if he has had delayed development in other areas there is no way he is going to something as difficult as potty training when he should. What does you health visitor say? If he is still in 12-18 month clothes he sounds very underweight was he a premature baby? It sounds like he has extra special needs to most children starting nursery and I don't mean this in a way that there is something 'wrong' with him just that he will need extra help not just with potty training but speech etc. To finish, I would totally forget the potty training for now and relax and enjoy quality time with him before he goes to nursery and try not to compare him with other children everyone develops at different rates and they all catch up eventually, some just need a little extra help thats all. Good luck and try not to worry.

[kitten_uk2]

hi tigwig, thanx for your response, my son was a week early, but ive had trouble from day one with him, feeding and general progress, he didnt crawl till he was 15 month.
im only small myself so he may have got the frame from me. im hoping he will go through a growing spurt. i really want him to get into this nursery as its local and he is really bored at home, i think it will do him good to be around other kids as he has never had much contact. in the application form i had to fill in for his nursery i stated all his disabilities, the staff just seemed to pursuade me i could do it in 6 weeks.

[tigwig]

Hi again have you had any 'diagnosis' as such about your son? Has anyone said he does have special needs? My daughter didn't crawl until she was 12 months but then caught up with everything else. I cannot understand how nursery staff would expect you to potty train him just like that it sounds very unreasonable to me. Is this a school nursery? I am a nursery nurse and there is no way me or any of my collegues would tell a parent in this way that they had to do something like this. If children have special needs they have to be assessed by a special needs co ordinator and what is right for the child is paramount.

[kitten_uk2]

when i told them he wasnt potty traind yet, there exact words were " you have six weeks to do it" as if it could be done in a day. but they did say they take kids in pull ups.
not had him assesed yet, although people tell me i should, because his speech is pretty bad for a 3 year old. dont see a health visitor. but will try and get in contact with one.
n joy potty training today, couple of accidents on floor. thats bout it.

[aims1202]

Its true that children can be potty trained at an early age (18mths+) even when they cant really talk. I dont really think you have to wait until they are ready as some children will never seem ready, others will show they are at some point. The most important thing is the parent needs to be ready to do it! Children with special needs do often achieve it later but not all. In my experience working in nurseries If a child has special needs most places will usually allow them to wear nappies. For other children nurseries will kind of do it themselves and just clean up accidents. Its best not to use pull ups as they confuse children and it feels just like a nappy to them.
First thing to do is to stop worrying about it, forget about how long you have and before you start wait until you are calm and relaxed about the whole thing. This will help your son to be relaxed too. Then put pants on him, no pull ups. Just have the potty in the middle of the room. You will need to give him loads of attention and play with him a lot. You could get teddy and put him on the potty and then put some water in it saying 'look what teddy did in potty, teddy gets a treat now,' and give teddy a treat. You can ask him if he wants to sit on it and play with some toys or read a book while he does. He shouldnt really sit there for too long, it doesnt matter if he doesnt do anything in it for a while just praise for sitting there. Its best not to ask him to sit on it too much as it will put him off.

[aims1202]

continued.
When he has an accident in his pants leave them on for a short time then say 'never mind next time you'll get it in the potty.' Dont get cross or annoyed at all. If you see him start to do a wee on the floor then you can catch it in the potty yourself and then say 'well done you got it in,' as if he's done it! When he eventually does do one in the potty then give him a treat/prize. The main thing is to be positive all the time and be relaxed and to not worry about how long its taking or if he's ever going to stop having accidents, eventually he will. This way has worked with mine and the many children i have looked after, all different ages. Good luck!

[kitten_uk2]

if anyone is still following this ive decided to give up on it, no one round me who has declan is doing it( my mum, and my hubby) its just me and as i work 4 days a week. it just seems pointless, also after waiting 5 hrs last night for him to wee, following him round with the potty, i got fed up and said no more!!!!!!

[aims1202]

I think you have made the right decision. Just do it again when you feel ready too. I do think its unfair of your family not to support you in this and i would ask them if they could when you try again as you will need their help if they are with your son often.
Just remember when you do try again the most important thing is to be relaxed and not worry about him doing it or not, dont try to make him wee in the potty just encourage him and give him opportunity. Read what i said before, if you stick to it that way it will happen. Good luck.