cheater

[conf.4.life]

I cheated on my bf with this really attractive guy that i met. then i broke up with my boyfriend out of guilt and ..i still havent told him about this and i want get back togther..but i cant tell him...and i cant get back together with him b/c then i couldnt deal with the guilt

[bobbikay]

wow that sounds similar to my story below. but my ex heard it from his sister instead of me. big mistake! tell him b4 he hears it from someone else. and other ppl on here might be harsh (but sadly, they're probably right). but if he's as great as you think he is, he'll forgive you. after all, we're all human and make mistakes, right? so my advice would be to tell him. sorry, i might sound immature at giving advice, ur probably older than me lol :) but even so, it sounds like u and i are in a similar situation. i hope all goes well for u :) take care

[China Doll]

You have to decide what you can and can't deal with. And what's in the best interests of your boyfriend.

Look at it this way.... if you have no feelings for the attractive guy and it's never going to happen again then the only reason you would tell your boyfriend is to alleviate your own guilt. I'd say that's rather unfair actually.

Or you don't get back together with him. In which case why would you tell him? From an outside perspective it could look like you were rubbing salt in to the wound. It would again hurt him for no reason.

If you have any kind of feelings for the attractive fella then don't get back with your boyfriend. That would be very silly.

Basically you c0cked up and you now have to deal with the consequences. Guilt is a consequence. Either find a way to square it with yourself without hurting your boyfriend unnecessarily and put it down as a lesson learnt or spend some time on your own for a while getting to know yourself. Sometimes we do stupid things cause sub conciously we're looking for a get out clause. Good luck.

[Carby]

Get your rat out!!

[MrBen5]

Hmmm. You should tell him what happened, that way he can make a decision based on what he thinks of you. Like someone else said, dont let him hear it from someone else or you have no chance. Its only natural to look elsewhere if you arent getting the love at home, but you should have really had a chat with him before it got to the stage of you cheating. Now that you realised what you really want, you feel guilty. You never know, he might be a right muppet and take you back. But any decent guy would probably tell you where to go. Whats gonna happen the next time you see a goodlooking guy? Can you honestly say you wont do it again? Let me know how you get on...

[Goodsoulette]

to me when you cheat its a sign something isnt right in your relationship. Are you sure you arent just hankering after being back in a realtionship? If it is him you really want then you will have to be honest, unless there is NO way of him ever finding out, and thats doubtful. You dont want to win him back just to lose him again.

[gina1960uk]

You are not with him so tell him! Its harder to tell someone when your in a relationship really, so you may aswell get rid of your guilt and tell him now. x